I fucking hate Ed Hardy and everyone who wears it. I don’t know what it is about decorative, colorful vintage tattoo lookin’ shirts that cheesy tanned, gym-bound mainstream club goers get boners for but I like to think it’s just because shit’s expensive, celebrities wear it and I blame Hollywood.

It’s like if they don’t realize that a t-shirt costs 3 dollars at most blank and 20 dollars at most finished even with the use of every single possible type of silk screening or graphic application technology that one shirt can handle but shouldn’t because shit ends up looking like one of my cum shots after a bout with an STD, you know tainted with blood, mucus and shaped like a skull in a top hat because the fever is making me delusional, and are paying upwards of 300 dollars to just fit in.

This is the product of the success of the Von Dutch movement that targeted the same poser, Grey Goose bottle whoring, big bicep dudes and club slut fake tit girls they recruit at the tanning salon, who listen to Bob Sinclair and who don’t have any concept of what’s actually going on in the world, but know that all their friends are rockin’ it and so are the celebrities and that must mean it’s good. They don’t realize that dude realized that magic formula where you can get celebs to wear your shit if you give it to them for free and then all these mainstream followers will eat shit up, especially if you take that product that normally costs 3 dollars and make them believe it’s worth absurd amounts more than it is.

Maybe it’s marketing genius, I like to think it’s just representative of the hell that we are living and the stupidy of the general public and their need for the media to tell them what’s up and I don’t anticipate Ed Hardy to go away anytime soon, despite hoping that it does, but the good news is that Joanna Krupa was one of their bikini models recently, and I am always ready to get down with communism when it looks like this no matter what shit stupid clothes its wearing.

Posted in:Bikini|Ed Hardy|Joanna Krupa