Jessica Simpson is still trying to be country and the whole thing is getting pretty fucking obvious, boring and desperate. Seeing her in some country farm girl dress that looks like it was made by her fashion forward mother who has an affinity for the big city fashions and who tries to stay on top of the trends by copying patterns out of dated fashion magazines and who dreams of a glamorous life that wasn’t of her in Paris, New York, Milan equipped with nothing more than whole lot of fabric and a sewing machine, but who is instead on the receiving end of her husbands abusive drunk weather hand from working the farm. Unfortunately, we all know this bitch is rich and famous and the furthest thing from country. Her stupid costume won’t fool us and either will her uneducated drawl and I predict the next step for her is bringing a cow on stage to milk and I an only keep my fingers crossed that the cow they cast is her sister, it would kill 2 birds with one stone, you know with the whole hick incest thing and all. Either way, I’d still fuck her and her joke of an attempt to re-invent herself. Just because a whore doesn’t charge you for a blowjob doesn’t mean she’s no longer a whore. It does however mean she’s a fuckin’ saint, if you know what I mean….

Here’s Jessica.

Posted in:Country|Jessica Simpson