Ellen is on some lesbian power trip where she makes every female guest wear a pair of her used men’s underwear, because as you all know lesbian likes to wear men’s clothes and fuck women in men’s clothes. I don’t. Or maybe Hayden Panettiere is mocking lesbianism, in some subtle way, thinking she’d relate better to Ellen if she dyked it up some, because all lesbians wear boxer shorts and have strap-on cocks to match their lesbian haircuts and flannel. What I do know is that Hayden definitely wearing a slutty black dress and Ellen is struggling to focus, that’s why the interview was cut short and diverted to trying to talk about Hayden and her boyfriend, to really drive the point home that Ellen’s got no chance and I was told that after shooting this segment, Ellen had to run back stage and change her socks because they were soaked right through from her soft on excitement….true story.

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