Tanline Thursdays are a great reminder of where I’ve gone wrong in my life, because this motherfucker lives behind an ice wall, buried in snow, and the only tanlines I get to see are if I trek to a stripclub to find some trashy leathery old broad either burnt from machines or hosed down in chemicals….and really who’s into leaving the fucking house to see fucking tanlines under the black light on some gutter chicks when you have the internet to deliver the bullshit via the screen.

The point is, I wish I had a midlife crisis 20 years ago, that brought me to a place with natural tanlines on traveling sluts passing through on their “Eat Pray Love”, piss off their ex husband, fat chicks sad and lonely ready to fuck, even though I hate fat chicks, but like tanlines enough to not care, I mean I have no standards, so tanlines on anything, even a rotisserie chicken is GOOD TO GO.

Here, some tanlines!

Posted in:Tanlines