Tanlines are what I like to think are the closest thing to what would happen in nuclear fallout, where the bathing suits of the bitches get vaporized, leaving nothing but the good parts highlighted so that my radioactive ass knows where to put my mouth before I die…a very happy man….because that’s just how simple I fucking am.

That’s the reason why I do these tanline posts, the tanline, so important, so necessary especially in a world where they are CLEARLY and OBVIOUSLY dimming out the motherfucking sun. If you look up, open your eyes, you will see the silver iodide….which is not conducive to tanlines…which HIGHLIGHT THE GOOD STUFF…

I mean if anything, they are ADVANTAGE of global warming, which isn’t real, but we can pretend it is, because we are idiots like that….mindlessly nod along because we’re busy in our day to day existence struggling to get by….

But if there was global warming, a hotter sun, it just means MORE tanlines….BRING IT….

Posted in:Tanlines