Sara Sampaio is probably one of the least interesting things out of Portugal, which may not be saying much since most things stay in Portugal, because according to all the retirment and expat articles I see, it seems to be the number one place to move to as North Americans, the affordable and friendly gateway to Europe, even people like Madonna have moved there, likely in hopes of finding the portal to hell where her keepers are waiting for her, or to evade taxes, but all this to say that Portugal is pretty great…> Sara Sampaio…not so much.

She’s a perfectly average looking Victoria’s Secret model from an era when they were supposed to bring us unrealistic body images to make the women in our lives hate themselves and thus fuck us more due to that hatred of themselves…

She’s almost so average that you’d think she was part of Victoria’s Secret’s woke programming that destroyed their business and that they claim to be returning to the hot chick.

She was at an ALO YOGA event, which is an instagram brand that people consider to be the top of the charts in terms of marketers, so that means she’s still mainstream and relevant, or trying to be by associating with the new mainstream and relevant like she did at Victoria’s Secret when they were mainstream and relevant…and she brought the tits out, which is obviously a strategy when you’re a weathered, middle aged, underwear from another era….

Posted in:Sara Sampaio