I'll Make You Famous…

Archive for the Die Category




Blogging Is Dangerous and Kills People of the Day

So 2 bloggers died of heart attacks recently and it’s hit the news.

I don’t think any of you should worry about me dying from blogging because I barely work, but I still feel the heat of being a fat unhealthy internet fuck who is on the verge of death but I feel like it’s got nothing to do with blogging, it’s probably got more to do with smoking, hard drinking and eating lots of cake and only getting off my fat ass to take a shit about half the time I have to shit, the rest of the time I just do it on the floor next to the cardboard box I use as a desk. That’s how we do it in this household. Reality is that I am always stressed because I don’t make money and can’t afford drinking, or because I am hungover and having panic attacks caused by alcohol withdrawal and the only real stress in running the best site on the internet nobody reads and nobody thinks is the best site on the internet and that is why they don’t read it is that I have to wake up every morning around noon being reminded that I suck at life. I also have an annoying fuckin’ wife who I hate and who keeps me up at night with her sleep apnea that’s lead to my own sleep apnea and is why I have high blood pressure. So I may be the next blogger to drop dead, I can only hope and you can too, but I am just being cynical, people like me don’t die, God likes us to suffer.

The bad news is that Perez has a personal trainer and taking on a healthy lifestyle because he doesn’t want to die by blogging, the good news is that Perez Hilton is a gay slut and is going to die of AIDS.

Here he is on CNN giving his “expert” opinion while bigging himself up about how great he is and how much fun his life is while making his 20,000,000 dollars a year.

Since today’s my birthday and I figure I should have a bunch more, I think it’s time to start using my wife’s thighmaster that she bought 20 years ago and never used but that’s just because Suzanne Somers gives me a boner.

Posted in:Bloggers|Die