I just found out about this, but apparently Carrie Underwood is dating some Ottawa Senators player named Mike Fisher. Now Ottawa is in Canada, it is a 2 hour drive from where I am and I’m not going to go try to kidnap this bitch because I just don’t care. What I do care about is how funny it is when the jumbotron/tv spot her and she tries to duck and hide in some sort of panic. I haven’t seen that kind of panic since getting caught jerking off to some unsuspecting college girl and her boyfriend fucking when I slipped on the fire esacpe and fell through the window screen with erection in hand. Talk about a bad scene.

I don’t know why these popstar celebrities like hockey players, it’s a fucking fad though. I live in Canada and everyone’s a fucking hockey player and they all look toothless and beat the fuck up, short, bald and seem to do too much coke, stage gangbangs, fuck teenagers, have tons of money and like to be tough guys especially in lockeroom hazings when sodomizing each other with hockeysticks and by hockey sticks I mean their tongues and dicks….not to mention they all speak like fucking backwoods inbred retards from Ontario who have fart parties while hunting caribou or some shit. I’d demonstrate for you, but I don’t have a mic.

Posted in:Carrie Underwood|Duck|Hockey