Loney fat bitches who work as Morticians and Nail Technicians who say shit like “His Loss” when referencing their last boyfriend who escaped them, and who think posting ads on eBay to find a date to go on a family cruise is normal, is just what I want to stay the fuck away from when it comes to spending my money on Valentines Day…

The only thing this is good for is amazing fucking content…If my 2 dollar bid won this shit….I’d definitely bring my video camera

Here is her ad, with her insane demands and restrictions, even though the only person who would waste their time on this shit, would break all those restrictions.

She’s a real fucking keeper/winner, I mean isn’t that what this eBay ad is screaming…I don’t know about you but I don’t see red flags and my cock isn’t scared he’s gonna be cut off, even though she’s clearly dying for cock…weird.

This auction is for a 1 ticket- 7 day cruise on the Southern Caribbean Princess Explorer with a female companion
**SERIOUS RESTRICTIONS APPLY**

CRUISE INFORMATION:
Departs February 13, 2011 from San Juan Puerto Rico
Returns February 20, 2011

Island Destinations: St. Thomas, Dominica, Grenada, Bonaire and Aruba
Oceanview room, meals and non-alcoholic beverages included

Some of the Money from this auction will go towards island excursions and other activities.

THE STORY: I’m 33 years old, my boyfriend and i broke up (his loss). i’m now looking for a travel companion / friend to enjoy valentines week with. i enjoy and anticipate dancing, snorkeling and other activities provided by the cruise line and hope to find someone that would enjoy the same.

RESTRICTIONS:
Bidder/Winner must submit a photo, complete name and comply to a background check.
Bidder/Winner must have their own passport.
Bidder/Winner must have previously cruised before
Bidder/Winner must be between the ages of 27 and 38.
Bidder/Winner must not be currently married or in a relationship.
Bidder/Winner must be willing to participate in active shore excursions.
Bidder/Winner must have clean hygiene and respect personal boundaries at all times.
Bidder/Winner must maintain self control and have respect.
Bidder/Winner must be of good moral character, must not be a felon.
Bidder/Winner must not be a smoker, social drinking is okay.
Bidder/Winner is responsible for their own flight to and from puerto rico.
Bidder/Winner is responsible for their own alcoholic beverages and all other fees not included with the cruise ticket above.
Bidder/Winner must have similar qualities or interests to me (see about me section below)
THIS CRUISE WILL BE ACCOMPANIED BY MY PARENTS, THERE WILL BE NOTHING OF ANY SEXUAL NATURE TO TRANSPIRE!
IF BIDDER/WINNER DOES NOT COMPLY, AUCTION IS IMMEDIATELY DISQUALIFIED AND THERE WILL BE NO REFUNDS.

ABOUT ME: i’m 33, i work 2 full time jobs. i’m a mortician and a nail technician, i really enjoy doing nails. i have a bachelors degree in science. i like movies, horror, action, some comedy. i like a huge variety of music but stay away from mainstream music and do not like country music. i like anything from Connie Francis to skinny puppy. i am ambitious, goal-oriented, honest, eager to live and experience life. Feel free to ask questions, i will respond as fast as i can. i’m 5ft 5 in. athletic but curvy. i do not use recreational drugs nor smoke. i am a social drinker

Payments are due 3 days from auction close payment in form of Paypal. Thanks for Looking & Good Luck bidding Buyers automatically enter into a legally binding contract to purchase the item from the seller if they win the auction-style listing or use the Buy It Now feature. eBay’s Unpaid Item policy requires buyers to pay for the items that they commit to purchase. eBay will take action against buyers who do not pay for items they have won.

Weird. Yet hilarious. No body shots…obviously…

Posted in:ebay Auction