It is safe to say that Elsabetta Canalis is probably pretty pissed off that George Clooney chose another girl to marry under contract for a minimum of 3-5 years because it makes him look less gay. He’ll even throw in a kid and 20,000 dollars of child support for said kid per month, for the rest of it’s life, because it makes him look less gay.

I mean the reality of the situation is that Elsabetta Canalis only really exists in America because she was signed to George Clooney’s girlfriend management contract, I guess he figured she was a safe one to keep his secrets in lockdown, because of the language barrier and her level of irrelevance the second he found another girlfriend…

Whether her showing her tits to the paparazzi is a cry for attention, to say “Hey remember me”…in hopes of a little international glitz and glam for old times….or if showing her tits is her being European…she’s still showing her tits…and for some reason, despite it being a win for us, and not a big deal for her, I find it sad…like she’s defeated…and lost her gold digging…

But the good news for her is that she’s still hot enough to find a socially awkward billionaire who thinks dating George Clooney’s sloppy seconds, not like George Clooney ever fucked her, but rather just brought her to events, is a status symbol…

And I don’t care, I just like the tits.

Posted in:Elsabetta Canalis