On my way home from my friend’s house, I decided to stop in to see if my Starbuck’s worker was working because I wanted a motherfuckin’ free coffee and saw the weirdest thing. This 300 pound Carnie Wilson motherfucker was getting yelled at by her skinny friend because Carnie was taking too long shoving sugar packs into her fat pants and the skinny girl wasn’t having it. She was calling her fat and disgusting and telling her to hurry the fuck up before she dies of heart disease and diabetes and stroke making them late for their rendez-vous with some guy skinny girl is fucking. The highlight of the experience was when Carnie Wilson stopped in her tracks and stared at a malnourished homeless dude who looked like full blown AIDS and had one leg significantly shorter than the other and the corrective shoes to match as he was begging for change. It was like he was some kind of Mesiah and she gasped in her suffocated by her fat neck voice “he’s so skinny…..” like she was in awe and ready to kiss those corrective shoes. I immediately thought of Kim Kardashian and how she feels everytime she hangs out with normal sized girls who date white guys.

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