Usually the professionally trained dancers don’t end up on TV with actual work…and while they are studying and being professionally trained…they always know that in the back of their mind, they are probably going to become strippers, and the only choreographing they do, is high level strip shows you can tell come from someone with experience, even though ultimately, all those sluts end up in the same place, bouncing on a dick in a back room for 10 dollars a fucking song….but for some reason, this professional dancer went another route, she got the professional dancing but it didn’t give her the slut attention she set herself up for as a kid and all those years of growing up practicing something as useless as dance….but I guess she’s making up for it after life didn’t take the path she wanted it to…cuz it’s never too late to get implants and show off your fat tits and fat ass in some slut costume….whether there’s a seedy biker run bar involved or not….cuz I guess stripping is a career you can never quite fail at…no matter how old, fat, ugly or drug addicted you are…it is always there to fall back on.

Posted in:Lacey Schwimmer

Here’s a manly faced bitch playing ball in a bikini top…I mean I’m not sure why she even bothered with the bikini top…cuz clearly the basketball isn’t the only balls in this picture…based on her face, she’s not the only one schwimming, the sperm in her ball sack are….

She’s the Dancing with the Stars dancer who has the body of some gutter bitch in the projects with 14 kids with 10 different black fathers….you’d think fitness would come with less thickness….

That said, I like my bitches or the bitches I like to slim down by not eating, not by bench pressing.

The whole thing is pretty disgusting, but she’s got a bikini top on, and that’s good enough for you….and apparently good enough for me.

Posted in:Lacey Schwimmer

Fuck DWTS, this bitch needs to get on video in spandex on Youtube…cuz fat girls aren’t supposed to dance…and when they do it’s fucking funny to watch….

These legs are trunks…Shit is not fucking normal for someone who burns 3000 calories a day….why she looks like this really just doesn’t make any fucking sense to me…

I know she’s fucking ugly..anyone with eyes can see she’s a beast of a girl…and I am not trying to give her credit she doesn’t deserve. She’s already tricked her way onto TV and avoided a shitty stripping career as the stripper no one gets dances from except for people who feel sorry for her or people who she gives a discount to, or people who like the bottom feeder ugliest bitch in the room trash cuz it is their fetish…. I just really think she’d be better off falling off a table while dancing on Youtube, or having a stripper pole catastrophe, fuck being on mainstream television, this tank is a Internet legend in the making….

Get her to partner up with the world’s shortest man, and I think my brain would explode trying to process the amazingness…

Here is some Dirty Dancing Pussy 3 decades too late, because I watch Dirty Dancing weekly, shit is better than porn to me, even though I never quite got what Patrick Swayze saw in her, other than the fact that she was Jewish and everyone knows that thanks to Summer camp, Jewish girls give AMAZING head….and also quite good at wearing ill-fitting sweat pants….

Posted in:Lacey Schwimmer

Lacy Schwimmer is one of the dancers on Dancing with the Stars, but it looks like she’s more interested in being one of the failed celebrities she is paid to dance with, I can just tell in her eyes, and in her tacky, trashy, stripper from the suburbs shirt, that she’s screaming to be offered the chance to get naked in Playboy, or on all fours getting fucked by a black man in a sex tape like she was Kim Kardashian, because let’s face it, growing up as a champion Ballroom dancer, she wasn’t really getting much attention from pretty much anyone, ballroom dancing is some serious geek shit, that even her dad, the loser on Friends couldn’t respect or see a future in….

She’s 22, she’s a prime candidate for her 5 minutes of fame to blow-up horribly into an entertaining and slutty demise and I know that I’m ready for it.

Update – She looks too fat to be a dancer…but apparently….she’s still a dance…

Posted in:Lacey Schwimmer