The most fascinating shit happened to me today and that was sleeping 2 hours after spending the night drinking my face off. I don’t really know what happened but I ended up passing out on some girl’s couch. I tried to midnight molest her, but she wasn’t having it. When I told her I was finger banging her, she got mad at me and said that she hated when dudes did that shit to her

Either way, she woke me up when she had to go to work and I was still fucking wasted. So I ended up hitting up the coffee shop and asking the staff and everyone in the place what the fuck they are doing awake, because when drunk first thing in the morning, I get thrown the fuck off and don’t understand why these insane people are out and about doing normal everyday shit, because I usually sleep all day.

It was like some kind of reality check that real life works around stupid hours and has no room for drunk people like me and I realized that people are pretty receptive to drunk assholes at 9 am, but still have to be up at 9 am and that’s pretty depressing for them. They haven’t figured out that getting on the whole wife on disability payin my way is amazing train.

Either way, here are some pictures of Cheryl Tweedy Cole in some animal print, because animal print outfits represents wild sluts who take it up the ass like they are in the jungle, at least that’s the rumor on the street.

Ps. I am wasted at 9 am. Cuddels

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