I hate Hollywood. I hate celebrity. I hate the movies they are making. I hate the TV shows they are making. But more importantly I hate the actors….especially when they are at events created by themselves to celebrate themselves and legitimize their bullshit existence…

Here are the 10 most important things we learned from the Screen Actor’s Guild awards that took place the other night…

1- Jean Luc Picard has busty femal friends unlike all the people who grew up obsessed with his Star Trek captaining….

2- Paz de la Heurta has a Trophy I can only assue is for being a thickest bush exposed on TV – cuz this bitch doesn’t really act,
Paz de la Huerta just get naked all the time.

3 – Natale Portman could star in some ready to drop porn fetishes….unfortuately you all died on the inside…because despite not knowing a thing about this bitch…like that she’s a fucking annoying loser…you think you love her….making jerking off to her birthing impossible cuz you want nothing to do with admitting she’s even pregnant – Weirdo…

4- Sofia Vergara has overrated Tits….cuz she’s old and an immigrant…who should be cleaning hotel rooms…but isn’t…cuz she’s got a good throat…a lesson all girls know…

5- But not as overrated as Christina Hendricks….cuz she’s fat and fat girls don’t deserve any praise…ever…no matter how big their tits are…

6- They allowed pornstars to attend this year…

7- Sarah Hyland looks young but is 20…making it not illegal to jerk off to her while pretending she’s 12 for the sake of your fantasy….

8- Angie Harmom cuz Baywatch Nights never is eternal…

9 – Precious has a twin sister….

10 – That the Screen Actors Guild award is a mastubatory fest that was a waste of everyone’s time and that I am happy I didn’t watch or know what going down…

Posted in:Screen Actors Guild