I didn’t watch or liveblog the teen choice awards because I’m more into living my own life…or self destructing in my own life than wasting my night in front of my creepy neighbor’s television cuz I don’t have a TV, watching the shit, while worried he’s drugged me to rape me, or more importantly to keep me, cuz he’s that kind of weird…
I also don’t find anything teenagers like interesting, if anything it is depressing and makes me happy the end of the world is near, cuz these vapid little materialistic consumers are so fucking uninteresting….
Although, I do wish I was still in highschool, cuz when I creep on Highschool, I see a whole lot of sluts, all willing to have anal sex, cuz it’s socially accepted, and all busty thanks to hormones in the food, making elements of this generation fantastic, but still not fantastic enough, cuz the second you talk to one of these 16 year olds, the idea of having sex with them and their huge hormone in food tits loses its appeal cuz teens are fucking idiots…
That said, here is some of the pussy being marketed to teens, cuz they are a good demo that pay the fuckin’ bills and have logevity or some shit….
The whole thing, pretty boring to me, but then again, I’ve been doing this for 8 years, and I’ve been uninterested in hollywood and celebrity since long before I started this…making my life a fucking torture…
But at least there’s some tits…and desperate for attention girls willing to really put themselves out there to matter…which sometimes is a good thing…
Selena Gomez…cuz the Teen Choice Awards are the best place for Sex Offenders…
Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez…cuz it was a good PR Move…
Fergie Looking Tough…Like a Wrestler Chick….or an Action Hero and you probably like that..cuz you are a virgin loser and that’s what you’re into….of the Day…
Ashley Greene’s Boring Outfit cuz she fucking sucks…
Tyra Banks….in Spandex….Should be Arrested for Indecent Exposure…
Blake Lively in Latex Looking Dress…that I’d like to cum on, because it’d be easier to clean than her wrinkled weathered face…
Cameron Diaz….So Not a Teen Anymore…not even close…but she may be growing a clit dick for A-Rod…but I haven’t seen pics of it yet…
Taylor Swift…..does the Marilyn Monroe…cuz I guess she’s trying to be more interesting, cuz this prudish act we know is an act cuz John Mayer totally fucked her up the ass raw dog, is hardly fun for us to watch….wholesome is for girls you marry, not girls you masturbate to..t
Alexa Vega….wearing a dress worth noticing..
Raven Symone…..cuz she used to sit on Bill Cosby’s lap in a way you probably wouldnt want your 4 year old sitting on some pervert with a Master’s in Education cuz he loves kids so much’s lap…
Holland Roden is a Ginger in Green …..like some kind of Leprochaun waitin for you at the end of the rainbow…
AnnaSophia Robb and Bethany Hamilton cuz Both Arms Played One Arm in a Movie and now thy are BFF….OBVS….even though it looks like One Arm could eat pretty much all of Two Arms…
Some Avril Lavigne All Lady-Like in a hot dress….even though her daily style is suburban mall punk on her 14th birthday….which would be more appropriate….
Kaley Cuoco cuz Her Hotness Might Have Killed John Ritter….at least her teen looks over stimulated his heart…giving a whole new meaning to “Killer Looks”….that’s the story I heard…
Some Fake Looking Tits Named Maryse Ouellet I’ve never heard of…but appreciate…
Kim Kardashian at any event where people will take pics of her in efforts of trying to stay relevant….
To Remind you this Award show is a fucking useless joke…Rebecca Black was there…and it looks like she won…
Posted in:Teen Choice Awards 2011