I was walking down the street the other day and saw what looked like a scene from West Side Story, not that I’ve ever seen West Side Story, but because I know it’s some kind of immigrant gang wars and that’s the shit I was in the middle of yesterday, only instead of fighting over a chick or drugs, these dudes were fighting over soccer.
A group of one set of immigrants with a soccer ball wearing soccer jersey were walking, and these other immigrants who were sitting on a stoop screamed out “You are going for the wrong team, Espania for life”, now I know the Euro ended at least a week ago, but these motherfuckers are so jacked on the shit that I was either expecting them to break into some gay song and dance to express their passion for the sport like normal homosexuals who like watching sweaty men run around with balls, or cut each other. None of that happened.
I guess what it comes down to is that if you’re a working class immigrant with 10 kids you made sure were born in this country, and you spend most of your time at work to make less than minimum wage, only to come home that is barely a home because you all sleep in one room, to an annoying immigrant wife and her shitty rice and bean meals she made because it’s all you can afford, where you fall asleep to memories of your beautiful country and villa that you still own out there but can’t afford a plane ticket to move back, because you were an idiot who fell for the lie that you were moving to the land of opportunity and actually moved to the land of poverty and worse living and working conditions than the third world you love so much, soccer is a good distraction. I just prefer alcohol, it’s more numbing.
Here is some soccer player’s hot immigrant girlfriend topless and in a bikini beause the irony of it all is that soccer players land good fucking vagina, even though soccer is a girl’s sport played by dudes with the gayest haircut and locker room stories I’ve ever heard.