Sometimes I wake up at 2 pm, fully clothed on the floor of my kitchen with salsa dried up on my face. Those are the days where I feel like this site is a huge waste of my fucking time, and I know you guys are annoyed of my bitching about how much I suck, but it’s kinda what I do. I am not depressed or hating on myself, I am just bored of this shit. There’s nothing happening, the site’s less popular than it was last year, I make no money, and I hate celebrity shit. I haven’t made out with Lohan or been invited to any celebrity parties. I emailed American Apparel once for an ad deal and they never returned my call.

Maybe that’s the problem, I am posting on shit I don’t care about, just trying to get traffic. But then, I sober up and realize, I really have nothing better to do with my time. Kinda like this slut Beckham. She made her money 10 years ago and since Spice Girls, hasn’t done shit and by shit I mean have 5 babies. The difference between me and Beckham is that I am 300 lbs, mexican, poor and unaccomplished, but other than that, we’re kinda the same person. That’s the story I heard. Now go fuck yourself. Thanks in advance.

Bonus: Victoria Beckham with her Kids….and by Kids I Mean Tits

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I have decided that I don’t like sluts. I like classy ladies. I have never been drawn to girls who look like hookers/strippers because my mind starts playing tricks on me to the point where all I can smell is syphilis in the air when I am with them. Most guys are busy tucking their boners into their pants, trying to hide the fact that all they want to do is fuck the shit out of them, while I backburner the shit and try to avoid further conversation so that I can go home and question my sexuality on my blog. Eliza Dushku looks like a total piece of stripper trash in her ripped jeans and whore boots and all I can smell is syphilis. Thanks.

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I have decided that I don’t like sluts. I like classy ladies. I have never been drawn to girls who look like hookers/strippers because my mind starts playing tricks on me to the point where all I can smell is syphilis in the air when I am with them. Most guys are busy tucking their boners into their pants, trying to hide the fact that all they want to do is fuck the shit out of them, while I backburner the shit and try to avoid further conversation so that I can go home and question my sexuality on my blog. Eliza Dushku looks like a total piece of stripper trash in her ripped jeans and whore boots and all I can smell is syphilis. Thanks.

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Jude Law dresses like a 16 year old girl and this concludes my first post that has no vagina in it. Making it by default the Gayest Stepfather Post of the day.

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Jude Law dresses like a 16 year old girl and this concludes my first post that has no vagina in it. Making it by default the Gayest Stepfather Post of the day.

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I would like to start off this post by saying I fucking hate Italy, Soccer and Italy Soccer Fans. Those motherfuckers were honking all fucking night and I think it is the reason I had my little incident with that slut who ripped the sleeve off my shirt. I don’t watch soccer and I don’t care about European sports. In fact, I don’t care about any sports. What I do care about though is jackasses with flags strapped to their car and a heavy hand on the horn. That’s all I have to say about that. Here’s Cameron Diaz with some cha-chi motherfucker who went more hip hop than Gucci, but you know her and her love for white dudes who think they’re black. Tell your friends.

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Here are some vintage Carmen Electra “Itchy Cooch/Wet Spot on her Pants” pictures from last week. If you want to discuss how other sites are way faster than me and how useless I am, do it here because I am useless. I am also fat, impotent and feel like my heart is going to explode everytime I walk up stairs. I can’t hold my booze, my wife hates me but stays with me because she is scared of being alone. I have a pretty shitty fucking life and no money and when it is all said and done, I smile, because there’s nothing better than a life of posting last week pictures, if you know what I mean. Which you probably don’t. Cuddles.

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Here are some vintage Carmen Electra “Itchy Cooch/Wet Spot on her Pants” pictures from last week. If you want to discuss how other sites are way faster than me and how useless I am, do it here because I am useless. I am also fat, impotent and feel like my heart is going to explode everytime I walk up stairs. I can’t hold my booze, my wife hates me but stays with me because she is scared of being alone. I have a pretty shitty fucking life and no money and when it is all said and done, I smile, because there’s nothing better than a life of posting last week pictures, if you know what I mean. Which you probably don’t. Cuddles.

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I feel like Alicia Silverstone today. Old, Washed Up, Hungover and Fat. Bitch doesn’t even wear a bathing suit to the beach, she dresses like some Swiss cow herding chocolate eating mountain girl.

The reason I feel like this cunt is because I went out for drinks last night, and now realize that my body can’t handle drinking anymore. After 3 drinks I was slurring my words and offending a polish girl. As the night went on and more drinks were drinked and I ended up upsetting another girl by calling her a slut, only this bitch wasn’t so decent about it, she ended up punching me in the face and ripping my shirt sleeve off. I walked home sleeveless. Thanks Slut.

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Here are some links for you to look at, because surfing the internet is kinda what I do when everyone I know is out spending their money and fucking bitches, while I try to avoid my whore of wife and stepdaughter’s friends. If your link isn’t here and you want it to be, then email me – Asshole.

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