I am sitting at the coffee shop after realizing that i couldn’t get any fucking work done with my whore of a wife always chewing her fucking Rice cakes seasoned like chips. She is trying to watch her weight, probably cuz I constantly tell her she’s too fat to fuck. She doesn’t realize that it defeats the purpose when you eat 4 bags of them in one sitting, but she’s french, it’s not so easy to explain this to her.

I am next to 5 baby mommas, who have some kind of “We all went to highschool, college, university together” relationship…you know the whole “We’re 27, let’s all get married to our long term boyfriends making sure our wedding is way better than sally’s last month” kinda of thing…the “Sally’s pregnancy at 30 and we can’t let her upstage us so we should get pregnant too, that way we’ll all be on maternity leave together and our babies can grow up being the best of friends and we will compare them our entire lives. You know from the first time they walk, speak, dance, go to school, right up until they establish their careers get married and have their own kids to compare and we will never get a break from each other until one of us dies in a horrible car accident, or runs off with some spanish tennis pro leaving the babies and the husband behind after realizing that this life choice was the wrong one”.

They are also all talking and laughing about their babies and how great they are and one of the sluts, yes SLUTS, she did get knocked up after all, is breast feeding. I can’t see nipple – but trust me I am trying…..

Speaking of breasts and sluts, here’s some pics of Jenna at some event recently. Her tits are nothing to get all that impressed by, if you want a set of your own, all you need is 5,000 dollars….being envious of her tits is like being envious of some 16 year old’s 1999 Jetta (I think they sell for around 5,000 dollars).

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I am sitting at the coffee shop after realizing that i couldn’t get any fucking work done with my whore of a wife always chewing her fucking Rice cakes seasoned like chips. She is trying to watch her weight, probably cuz I constantly tell her she’s too fat to fuck. She doesn’t realize that it defeats the purpose when you eat 4 bags of them in one sitting, but she’s french, it’s not so easy to explain this to her.

I am next to 5 baby mommas, who have some kind of “We all went to highschool, college, university together” relationship…you know the whole “We’re 27, let’s all get married to our long term boyfriends making sure our wedding is way better than sally’s last month” kinda of thing…the “Sally’s pregnancy at 30 and we can’t let her upstage us so we should get pregnant too, that way we’ll all be on maternity leave together and our babies can grow up being the best of friends and we will compare them our entire lives. You know from the first time they walk, speak, dance, go to school, right up until they establish their careers get married and have their own kids to compare and we will never get a break from each other until one of us dies in a horrible car accident, or runs off with some spanish tennis pro leaving the babies and the husband behind after realizing that this life choice was the wrong one”.

They are also all talking and laughing about their babies and how great they are and one of the sluts, yes SLUTS, she did get knocked up after all, is breast feeding. I can’t see nipple – but trust me I am trying…..

Speaking of breasts and sluts, here’s some pics of Jenna at some event recently. Her tits are nothing to get all that impressed by, if you want a set of your own, all you need is 5,000 dollars….being envious of her tits is like being envious of some 16 year old’s 1999 Jetta (I think they sell for around 5,000 dollars).

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Last month, I was told about the Much Music Video Awards and in trying to give DrunkenStepSteve something useful to do in his hometown of TORONTO, where this useless event is taking place, I tried to get him Media Access. Upon further investigation I found that they were DESPERATE for decent bands/presenters/hosts/etc, because the world realizes they are a piece of shit operation. Not to mention the fact that MTV opened up shop in CANADA and has exclusives on a lot of bands because let’s face it, MUCH MUSIC is the piece of bloody shit MTV had after a night of to drinking that just won’t flush down the toilet. I hate shit analogies, but point is without MTV there woulda never been MUCH, a cheap useless Canadian copy site.

When I found out that PEREZ HILTON, my favorite Celebrity Blogger Gay to laugh at, was Hosting. I decided to email them again to remind them about my media request.

This is what they had to say to me:

Hi Jesus,

Thank you for your interest in The 2006 MuchMusic Video Awards.

Regrettably, due to the high volume of media requests and space restrictions we will not be able to accredit you for this event.

We will contact you by June 16th @ 5pm ET if there’s an opportunity for you to attend.

So I decided to write them a response.

Dear Stephanie,

I am shocked that an organization such as Much Music and CHUMTV would be guilty of RACISM.

I run a celebrity blog like PEREZ HILTON’s, only I am actually funny, but that’s not the point. The point is that I am a MEXICAN CANADIAN (By Marriage), and your organization can’t even get me PRESS PASSES, while you get PEREZ airfare, hotel and a slot presenting an award at your event in some kind of Pink Suit.

I am not really shocked that Much Music a white-bread, middle of the road, Canadian piece of shit network would do something like this. You BOOK the gay white guy from LA to present your third rate production award show, and you can’t even give a MEXICAN CANADIAN a fucking MEDIA PASS.

Are you guys scared the other WHITE PEOPLE in attendance will get nervous when they see a Mexican in the room.

Point of the fucking story is that I was not even going to attend the event, I was going to be sending a 22 year old white kid to cover it. Now, it’s clear that your event doesn’t deserve any more attention from me.

I know it’s not your fault Stephanie, you are just the intern they hire to send out the rejection letters. I blame that RACIST CUNT boss of yours, Gabrielle and I have Cced her on this email, because I feel she should know that I am onto her horrible management skills and poor decision making skills.

I have also Bced the CEO of CHUM Limited, Jay Switzer in regards to the way this sitution was handled.

Let’s hope the right people get FIRED for this (Gabrielle)

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

I will admit I was a little angry, and when angry I automatically blame racism, I shouldn’t have called the PR person a CUNT. That was wrong of me. Now here are some pics of J.Lo and Mark Anthony at the Peurto Rican Day Parade a little Latin Pride on a day my Latin roots got me left out of the party, again….

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Billy Talent is a band my step-daughter can’t get enough of. I have heard there first album over and over and over and over and over. Last year or the year before she dragged me out to one of their shows and I had a good time checking out 15 year old girls who had crushes on the band and the 18- 25 year old girls who were there in hopes of sleeping with the band. It’s funny how girls never really change, they just get sluttier/start spreading their legs for those said crushes.

This year, she’s still a fan and she begged me to do a post on them, because her friend said we’d get free Warped tour tickets.

I like the Warped Tour and I worked it the first year. I helped build the ramps and got to watch the show for free, this was 9 or 10 years ago, when I was really diggin’ some of the bands who played. I guess that’s not all that interesting for you, but I like to embrace the memories I still have, most have been washed away by the bottle. Sad story.

Check Out Billy Talent’s New Website

Check Out Billy Talent’s New Video – Devil in a Midnight Mass

And These are the Warped Tour Dates they are playing

JULY
22 Salt Lake City, UT Utah State Fair Park
23 Denver, CO Invesco Field
25 St. Louis, MO UMB Bank Pavilion
26 Cincinnati, OH Riverbend Music Center
27 Pittsburgh, PA Post Gazette Pavilion
28 Indianapolis, IN Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre
29 Detroit, MI Comerica Lot
30 Tinley Park, IL First Midwest Bank Amphitheatre

AUGUST
1 Darien Center, NY Darien Lake PAC
2 Fitchburg, MA Fitchburg Airport
3 Philadelphia, PA Tweeter Center at the Waterfront
4 Scranton, PA Toyota Pavilion
5 Uniondale, NY Nassau Coliseum
6 Old Bridge, NJ Englishtown Raceway
8 Charlotte, NC Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre Lot
9 Virginia Beach, VA Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre Lot
10 Bristow, VA Nissan Pavilion @ Stone Ridge
11 Cleveland, OH Tower City Amphitheatre
12 Barrie, ONT Park Place
13 Montreal, QC Park Jean Drapeau

To send me free tickets email me here ( I realize no one is gonna be sending me any tickets, I just put this up because I am a dreamer)

Bonus: There is nothing more punk than Ashlee Simpson’s stylist picking up a pair of Dickies for her.

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Billy Talent is a band my step-daughter can’t get enough of. I have heard there first album over and over and over and over and over. Last year or the year before she dragged me out to one of their shows and I had a good time checking out 15 year old girls who had crushes on the band and the 18- 25 year old girls who were there in hopes of sleeping with the band. It’s funny how girls never really change, they just get sluttier/start spreading their legs for those said crushes.

This year, she’s still a fan and she begged me to do a post on them, because her friend said we’d get free Warped tour tickets.

I like the Warped Tour and I worked it the first year. I helped build the ramps and got to watch the show for free, this was 9 or 10 years ago, when I was really diggin’ some of the bands who played. I guess that’s not all that interesting for you, but I like to embrace the memories I still have, most have been washed away by the bottle. Sad story.

Check Out Billy Talent’s New Website

Check Out Billy Talent’s New Video – Devil in a Midnight Mass

And These are the Warped Tour Dates they are playing

JULY
22 Salt Lake City, UT Utah State Fair Park
23 Denver, CO Invesco Field
25 St. Louis, MO UMB Bank Pavilion
26 Cincinnati, OH Riverbend Music Center
27 Pittsburgh, PA Post Gazette Pavilion
28 Indianapolis, IN Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre
29 Detroit, MI Comerica Lot
30 Tinley Park, IL First Midwest Bank Amphitheatre

AUGUST
1 Darien Center, NY Darien Lake PAC
2 Fitchburg, MA Fitchburg Airport
3 Philadelphia, PA Tweeter Center at the Waterfront
4 Scranton, PA Toyota Pavilion
5 Uniondale, NY Nassau Coliseum
6 Old Bridge, NJ Englishtown Raceway
8 Charlotte, NC Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre Lot
9 Virginia Beach, VA Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre Lot
10 Bristow, VA Nissan Pavilion @ Stone Ridge
11 Cleveland, OH Tower City Amphitheatre
12 Barrie, ONT Park Place
13 Montreal, QC Park Jean Drapeau

To send me free tickets email me here ( I realize no one is gonna be sending me any tickets, I just put this up because I am a dreamer)

Bonus: There is nothing more punk than Ashlee Simpson’s stylist picking up a pair of Dickies for her.

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“The Nature Channel – Iced Out.”

I bet that made every white reader laugh…because they are fucking racists. I won’t have you here – RACISTS.

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Wanting to fuck fat chicks makes sense to me. Not because my wife is fat, but because I understand fetishes, and fucking something that feels like a brand new couch could be hot.

What I will never understand is people who want to slam hybrid fat chicks, I am talking about small breasted sluts who gain all their McDonald’s eating weight in their ass, making the rest of their body all out of proportion.

At least Vida got a botched tit job to balance out her retardedly fat ass. Maybe the problem here is that I like my women to look like 12 year old boys with tits, and by 12 year old boy, I mean bikini models and actual hot chicks.

Let’s keep that fat chicks for the gangstas who still think it’s hot cuz that’s what rap videos tell them.

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Wanting to fuck fat chicks makes sense to me. Not because my wife is fat, but because I understand fetishes, and fucking something that feels like a brand new couch could be hot.

What I will never understand is people who want to slam hybrid fat chicks, I am talking about small breasted sluts who gain all their McDonald’s eating weight in their ass, making the rest of their body all out of proportion.

At least Vida got a botched tit job to balance out her retardedly fat ass. Maybe the problem here is that I like my women to look like 12 year old boys with tits, and by 12 year old boy, I mean bikini models and actual hot chicks.

Let’s keep that fat chicks for the gangstas who still think it’s hot cuz that’s what rap videos tell them.

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You guys like Red Rat? Yeah, this isn’t a music post and that song gets annoying after the third time you hear it. But that’s not the point. The point is that wind is our friend. Just yesterday I was sitting on a patio, waiting for the staff to kick me out for loitering/disturbing the customers with my stench, when I looked across the street and saw a decent looking Jewish girl walking hand in hand with her boyfriend. Her skirt got caught in the wind and I got a free show. The whore wasn’t wearing underwear and I saw her bikini waxer’s vietnamese artistic touch. It’s kinda funny that you Americans went from bombing their country to getting them to do your nails and wax your cunts. I guess it’s really not all that funny at all.

I have nothing to say today, so just look at the pictures. I realize that I am wasting my time with this site. I make no money, my traffic is shit, and I am not making any internet friends with it.

I am not crying for attention here, I just realize when something’s come to an end and honestly how could I expect to get any respect from writing a blog after I spent years laughing at bloggers. I am a real hypocrite. I would hate me too, actually i hate myself too.

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