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Archive for the Unsorted Category

2005

22

Mar

I am – Team Fuck Does Small Talk

What’s up fuckers.

It’s 1:30 am and I just had a conversation with a close friend about my social etiquette, or lack there of, I should say. So if your wondering why I posted a picture of myself over there, its because this post is about me, and my rudeness.

It was recently brought to my attention that at times of social interaction I come across as rude, short-answered, and generally unhappy as a person. It got me thinking, because, by nature I am a pretty nice guy and didnt realize this about myself. Why am I telling you this, you ask? Well, I’m telling you this because the reasoning behind my newly-discovered dick headedness falls right into todays social sub-genre.

Keep Reading After the Jump

SMALL TALKERS

After a few weeks of “soul searching” (AKA heavy drinking and masturbation ) I realized that it’s not myself I hate, its Small Talkers, and, by default, filler conversation.

Lets break it down into a scenario, shall we? You arive at a house party/bar/whatever (fashionably late I hope), scan the room to locate your friends, and head on over. Now at this point you’re 1 of 2 kinds of people. Your either A: The kind to wait for people to aknowledge your presence, give a round of high fives, and join the group. Or your B: The insecure asshole that makes such a scene that everyone in the place knows your there.

Usualy when I walk into a place I’m pretty casual, saying Hi to those I know, and a slight nod to those I dont. However, it is after the inital contact where my problem lies. Once people start making conversation, saying things such as “Hey Steve, whats new”, “Yo man, how was work?”, you know, the SMALL TALK; this is where I get anal. First off, you dont fucking care whats new, so why would you even ask? Second of all, I hardly know you, if something really was “new”, im not going to fucking tell you, asshole. Because, chances are, it would sound somthing like this.

“Oh hey dude, thanks for asking. I just realized that my dick shrank 2 inches and curves to the right. I tried jerking off with the other hand, but im not very good at switch hitting so…ya know, guess im screwed. HAHAHA”

Nobody gives a fuck whats new. ever. If they do, they are really just waiting for you to stop talking so they can tell you about thier problems. Instead, lets just cut the bullshit and do what we came here to do. Get drunk, make fun of eachother in public and forget about how horrible are lives actually aren’t. If i wanna talk, i’ll call you.

Now, alot of people would make the argument that SMALL TALK leads to deeper conversation, it acts as an ice breaker, opens the door and lets you learn more about a person. But those people are the same people that cant wait to talk about themselves. If you really want to bond with me, buy me a beer and help me trash the washroom. I will gladly return the favour.

But Hey, maybe I am wrong. Perhaps this truly is a problem of mine, everyone else seems to think so. My girlfriend even went to the extent as to give me a book called “I dont want to talk about it – Overcoming the secret of male depression”. I ran out of toilet paper and old tshirts, so I’ll give you one guess as to where that book is now.

Social interaction is the strangest thing ever. So many rules, and so many does and donts. In my opinion, the world would be a greater place if we cut the crap, got rid of the filler, and concentraded on one common goal. Getting completly and utterly fucking wasted.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

21

Mar

I am – Tooth Pimp

The newest trend for teenage millionnaires is pimping up the chompers with fake jewels and fake tattoos. Teeth that is. As ridiculous as this seems, and as ugly as it looks, ppl are doing it.
I am disgusted.

PICS After Jump


Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

21

Mar

I am – Microkitten Video Clip

Microkitten is hot shit, if my wife wasn’t a fat and disgusting woman, I would totally buy her a couple of these motherfuckers, but what it comes down to is the fact that this bathing suit would get lost in her huge fucking ass. I am not complaining, she is responsible for my two amazing stepdaughters who look spectacular in a nice sheer bikini top, but I am not the kind of guy who would check out my stepdaughters. Who the fuck am I kidding, those girls are the things that dreams are made of.

The beautiful people at Microkitten sent us an exlcusive clip that will be airing on fashion television. Some people are going to the top, I am not one of them.

Check Out the Clip Here

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

21

Mar

I am – Haylie Duff’s Got Some Big Ass Titties

I am not sure why Haylie Duff is all over the media these days, I am guessing it has to do with who her sister is. I am also guessing that it has nothing to do with her ass of a face and more to do with her big ass titties. I am not the kind of guy who only goes for girls with big tits, even though my fat wife has sandbags that drop to her motherfucking knees, but I am the kind of guy who can categorically breakdown a girl into her main assets. In this case, Haylie Duff’s tits are bigger and better than ever.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

21

Mar

I am – Haylie Duff's Got Some Big Ass Titties

I am not sure why Haylie Duff is all over the media these days, I am guessing it has to do with who her sister is. I am also guessing that it has nothing to do with her ass of a face and more to do with her big ass titties. I am not the kind of guy who only goes for girls with big tits, even though my fat wife has sandbags that drop to her motherfucking knees, but I am the kind of guy who can categorically breakdown a girl into her main assets. In this case, Haylie Duff’s tits are bigger and better than ever.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

21

Mar

I am – T-Shirt of the Day

Whatever happened to all the worlds great romantics. You know, the kind of guy who takes a girl out on a date, wines her and dines her, then drives her home only to tell her she is the most beautiful thing in the world. There has be a societal move that has made men feel that if they buy a girl a drink, they are entitled to their asshole. This even happens in highschool. Sex is a commodity bitches, why you keep throwing yo’ pussies around. This t-shirt of the day is great from all you sleezbags who want to trick girls into thinking you care about them more than you care about their baby-holes. I like to think of myself as the last of the great romantics, only because I bought my wife a couple of burgers and a 14 inch dildo.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

21

Mar

I am – Jessica Simpson’s Dad

It was determined a long time ago that Jessica Simpson’s dad is a pervert and makes us all uncompfortable. I came across this picture and felt it was worth putting on the site, because as a place where we get drunk and molest people, preacher Simpson is a local star. He has his two big breasted daughters, who he watches closely while they are in bikinis. Now they aren’t in bikinis here, but you’re still a pervert.

More pics after the jump.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

21

Mar

I am – Jessica Simpson's Dad

It was determined a long time ago that Jessica Simpson’s dad is a pervert and makes us all uncompfortable. I came across this picture and felt it was worth putting on the site, because as a place where we get drunk and molest people, preacher Simpson is a local star. He has his two big breasted daughters, who he watches closely while they are in bikinis. Now they aren’t in bikinis here, but you’re still a pervert.

More pics after the jump.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

18

Mar

I am- BrEaK Up GiRL

There is a moment you can find yourself in, when you find sudden relief. It is usually just a very brief fleeting moment. However, it does exist. When you like yourself again, when you remember good times, and forget about the bad. You allow the stress to fall away.

You take into consideration that things will feel right again. This ephemeral moment is always followed by a sharp pang to the chest. When the flood gates open and you remember exactly where you are. That he still hasn’t sent your furniture back. That you will still have to call him. Risking a female voice to pick up. This world is big, but not that big. What are the chances that I will never see him again? At times like these, I truly consider a fortune teller, palm reader, or stats Canada.

Can anyone assure me that I won’t bump into him at the airport as he loads his wife and kids on to a plane and flies to Hawaii. While I have a layover in Idaho, out there on a potato conference.

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2005

18

Mar

I am – Link Dump

Here are some fun links to keep you happy. If would like to send me a link, email me at:brad

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