I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the WTF Category

2013

03

Jul

Barbie Done Gone Fat of the Day

Well it looks like the fat are winning.

Not only have the media tried to be fat friendly by making “Hollywood Fat” actually fat, you know making fat girls stars and the love interests of normal looking dudes, because America is fat and they find it more relatable…but now they’ve decided to change the one major icons that represents America and your Freedom…and that’s Barbie, even if she’s made in China.

It looks like they’ve gone and cast her body straight from the Walmart line, I wonder where her 5 white trash single parent kids with ADD eating candy are?

I mean I am a firm believer in giving unrealistic expectations to the youth and really women everywhere, because it makes them feel inadequate and gives something to aspire to be like.

I don’t like saying to them “It’s ok to be dumpy, lazy, a slob”….especially not while wearing a bikini.

I know the government wants us sick with diabetes, they want us fat from consuming product, they want us immobilized to not fight back and like Hitler, are starting the brainwashing when they are young.

I would totally have sex with short, average proportioned, hormones in the food, not too into working out, but love Fructose Corn Syrup based everything, but I don’t like our aspirational toys, that generations have grown up on, attacked, changed or genetically modified, because it appeases to a gang of fat dykes trying to change the world in this anti-bullying era, leaving Mattel no choice but to adapt, in fear of seeming like an insensitive brand.

Fuck you Barbie for ruining everything I love about America, you conformist communist porker.

What’s next, an amputee GI Joe panhandling in the subway system because PTSD made him crazy and his veterans pension doesn’t cover his drinking…. Real life sucks, let’s keep our toys fun.

That said, this isn’t an actual Barbie, but I like pretending it is, because it allows me to rant about nonsense…The story behind this is artist Nickolay Lammm took the average 19 year old girl measurements from the Center for Disease control, and created this as a political statement. A horrible statement..

It is not actually a Mattel Toy. But a short, thick legged, big booty, belly rocking’ statement on the world…that probably was better left unsaid. Next up, morbidly Obese barbie, based on the measurements of the Average McDonald’s worker.

Posted in:WTF