I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

04

Mar

Lindsay Lohan’s Got Coke Bloat of the Day

So my wife is still trying to get my dick, even though my dick doesn’t work. Today she went out to the fuckin’ doctor and got Viagra behind my back not realizing that this impotency is all psychological and she’s the fuckin’ cause of it because she’s disgusting, so I figured it was time to have a sit down so she understood that I don’t want to fuck her and the reason I don’t want to fuck her is because she’s fuckin’ fat and smells. So she comes at me with the pack of pills and I tell her straight up that no pill is strong enough to make her look worth a round. I told her she’s fat and keeps getting fatter and unless she drops 75 lbs, she’ll have to get dick somewhere else. I am cool with that, as long as she pays my rent. She tried to flip shit on me saying that the reason she is fat is because I don’t make her feel desirable so she eats the pain away and fucking was always her cardio. So it was this catch 22 bullshit that me not fuckin’ her for being ugly has made her even more ugly, so I’ve pretty much ruined this bitch and taken the little self esteem she has.

In a lot of ways I do the same thing to my wife that Lohan’s cocaine is doing to her, the more she spends time with it, the worse bitch looks, only difference is that I’d still let her rail lines off my dick no matter how much she starts lookin like Chris Farley before his cocaine bloat made his heart explode because addicted girls are easy, all you need is a baggy.

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