I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2012

07

Mar

Jennifer Love Hewitt Does April 2012 Maxim Proper of the Day

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It turns out that perpetually fat and single and depressing Jennifer Love Hewitt who once was has decided to re-invent herself in a way I can appreciate….get behind…celebrate…congratulate….She’s found her lost sex appeal….and that’s fucking amazing….

She is no longer some fat cunt who would only let the camera guy shoot her from certain angles to avoid her belly that caught up with her tits when her metabolism slowed down and her career slowed down and her sex life slowed down…

Rremember she was engaged at some point, and that’s what ruined her…it stole her soul and without her soul, everything else came crashing down…it was her lowest point…for her mirror, her fans, her boyfriends that followed, her pants and her shoe heels cuz she was at her fattest, medicating her sadness with food….and failed relationships…

There comes a time in every girls life where she feels the need to be married, to start a family, like real pressure in her uterus, despite what her rational brain thinks, and that leads to drinking, obesity, whatever the fuck people do before throwing their life away…..usually cuz they are with the wrong motherfucker who oppresses her….

But let Jennifer Love Hewitt be a lesson to all of you, your uterus can wait, drop the deadweight losers in your life…and drop the deadweight in your belly, strip off your clothes and tell the world, you’re ready to fuck shit up the way you know how….cuz we’re all here cheering you on…

This is inspirational work and I want to titty fuck her. Never too old…..to give life a second try….dont pull the JESSICA SIMPSON NUDE IN ELLE WHILE PREGNANT CUZ PREGNANCY JUSTIFIES HER OBESITY comeback….cuz that baby shit’s way more of a headache….especially with some jackass you’re just using for sperm who you have to deal with the rest of your life….

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Posted in:Jennifer Love Hewitt

2 Responses

  1. roscoe says:

    She seems like a nut, but still pretty cute.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I hate fake tits and JLH has spectacular REAL tits.  Those big boobs would keep me happy for quite
    a while.  She also takes it up the ass so
    she gets extra credit for spirit.  I bet
    she is a world class fuck.    

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