I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2015

05

Oct

Tara Reid Bikini Corpse of the Day

®†

Tara Reid, perpetual Spring Breaker….is amazing….for some money reasons, including but not limited to being on the beach with her boyfriend…looking like this.

Sometimes I need Tara Reid to remember that life’s not so bad…That people have it worst…that bodies have it worst…like hers…destroyed in the making the entity that is Tara Reid…who was at one point in the late 90s, so fucking relevant, in everything and deemed hot as fuck…then one bad set of implants…threw her into a series of bad plastic surgery…in between traveling the world at pool parties drunk…

Everything comes to an end…whether it is the party at the end of the night, or the party at the end of a decade of partying that destroyed a bitch, or a career in Hollywood so many of these instagram whores dream of….

Death is inevitable – even when the person is still alive…despite how corpse like they look…or in this case their ass looks…..That bad lippo suction has sucked the soul out of her…she’s like a half deflated bag of dog shit…all lumpy and weird..decaying…but not in spirit…because she still brings it…and dudes still fuck it…and want it around…all leather…and in need of life being breathed into it….like a meth addict on the street corner in florida…who lost her pants 3 years earlier and spends her days asleep on the beach…only more famous…and probably more showered…but equally rotten…..

The real issue is why the fuck would she ever wear a bikini….If I was her, I’d opt for the pants…if I was her family, friends, advisors…I’d opt for pants…

But the positive in this, the light at the end of the tunnel her corpse is drunkenly stumbling to…is that she’s skinny….and that’s more than we can say for america…because fat girls are everywhere and fat girls are far more gross…than whatever this is.

What I am trying to say is that I’m in love…

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Posted in:SFW|Tara Reid

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