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Archive for the Brooke Hogan Category

2009

19

Jan

Brooke Hogan Goes Rollerblading of the Day

If you’ve wondered how Brooke Hogan keeps the figure she inherited from her father, this isn’t you’re answer. I am going to assume she rollerblades for transportation after her brother’s horrific accident made her scared of cars, because that shit is supposed to be cardio and cardio goes against staying a fucking monster of a girl. She reminds me of those dudes you know aren’t straight who rollerblade along the boardwalk in their bike shorts and nothing else in hopes of seducing men, because anyone who slips a pair of these bad boys on is clearly pussy whipped or a homo. This post is a waste of time, I probably should have warned you before you got this far, assuming you got this far, which we all know is serious wishful thinking. The same wishful thinking Brooke has when it comes to fitting into her thin fit jeans.

Posted in:Brooke Hogan|Rollerblading|Shorts

2009

14

Jan

Brooke Hogan and Her Fake Tits Go Shopping With Her Entourage of the Day

Keeping with her Tampa classy roots, you know from being the budget destination of Florida, Brooke Hogan brought her retarded fake tits, fake hair and broad shoulders out shopping. I hear after this they made their way to the local gas station to grab some twinkies and diet coke for lunch and then went on to chain smoke while reminiscing about the glory days working the gate a Busch Gardens while getting their bangs styled into a claw. Sure, I’ve never been to Tampa, but it reminds me of the local poor French trash and that’s pretty much what they do, only instead of talking about working at Busch Gardens, they talk about being on Welfare while playing Bingo, and instead of drinking Diet Coke they go for the no name brand’s hard stuff, but their daughters looks like Brooke Hogan, only a little more haggard and emaciated from chain smoking at the age of 10. They also take it up the ass on the first date and don’t mind if you put them on the internet….where as Brooke Hogan’s a little more conservative (read: boring) for that. She’s like a free hooker with a broken vagina.

Posted in:Brooke Hogan|cleavage|Implant Tits

2008

19

Dec

Brooke Hogan’s Tits Go Christmas Shopping of the Day

I wonder what Brooke Hogan put on her Christmas list. She already got the tits she has dreamt about since she was a little girl to balance out her very large frame, she’s already got all the assless pants they sell at her local sex store. She’s already broken up her mom and dad’s marriage so she can have him all for himself. She’s got her brother out of prison and her stepfather in training finally hit puberty making it less embarrassing than it was 6 months ago. Her dad already pulled all the strings his wrestling carer gave him to get her a record deal and a couple photoshoots in Maxim and she’s got all the fake blonde hair she needs, so I guess the only thing you can get fo this North Florida redneck royalty is a good old fashioned gang rape, like the one her momma was part of the day she was conceived…sure they always pretend they hate it at first, but after years of therapy and hard drinking, they’ll be able to accept it for the right of passage it is. Again, I have no idea what I am talking about but I do know the rollerblading Poofter behind her pissed himself and that’s more interesting than Brooke Hogan.

Posted in:Brooke Hogan|Tits

2008

09

Oct

Brooke Hogan’s Devastating Playboy News of the Day

brooke_hogan_bikini_8.jpg

I know you’re thinking that I am about to announce that Brooke Hogan is going to be in Playboy and issue some kind of warning that the day it hits newstands you should refrain from eating because it will guarantee throwing up all over the place uncontrolably, but the truth is, the only pussy that ever made me throw up was a meaty, mangled lookin’ mess that smelled like feces and onion, and even that could have been caused by some bad chicken I ate earlier that day. What I find upsetting is that she turned down Playboy for now, and that sucks because I wanted to compare dick sizes like this dude I knew used to do when he was 6. Yeah, yeah, saying Brooke Hogan has a penis is getting dull, but suckin’ Brooke’s penis isn’t and the only way to fantasize about that, is to see her strategically posed in Playboy and that’s not about to happen anytime soon….

Here’s the story:

Brooke Hogan has turned down an offer to pose nude in Playboy.

“Brooke just didn’t feel that it was the right time,” her rep tells Usmagazine.com exclusively. “It’s not out of the question for the future, but we’ll have to see.”

Source - USWeekly

Here she is in a bikini…..

Here she is in another bikini…..

Here she is in another bikini….

Here she is performing in bootyshorts a while ago….

Here she is in FHM With the Power of Photoshop….

Posted in:Brooke Hogan|Playboy

2008

02

Oct

Brooke Hogan’s Leopard Print Bra of the Day

Brooke Hogan is a fucking beast and she’s out showing off her big weird new tits in a bra to distract us from the pulsating 4 inch clit she’s got tucked away nicely in her pants. I have no idea why she’s making that scary face, but I assume scary faces is something the people close to Brooke Hogan are used to, especially the dudes who get to fuck her. I remember a while back, I was banging this girl who made the scariest fucking facial expressions while having sex. It was like watching a Jim Carrey movie, only it wasn’t funny. Shit went from normal passionate faces, to slowly getting possessed faces, to bad cartoon faces and always ended in tears, the worse thing about it was the noises that came along with those facial expressions, from grunts, to screams to cries of bloody fucking murder and I never knew whether to laugh or cry or put a pillow over her face, but I did always know that it was a total cockblock and was pretty much successful in not letting me come to orgasm. I guess it serves me right for pickin’ her up at some instution for the deaf.

Posted in:Beast|Brooke Hogan|Tits

2008

15

Sep

Brooke Hogan in a Bikini of the Day

Brooke Hogan is showing off her big fake tits in her bikini and I guess despite hating Brooke Hogan’s masculinity and her broad shoulders and trashy rich north Florida upbringing, I have to say she doesn’t look as bad as she has in the past, proving that all it takes to make your dressing like a chick more believable isn’t about how proper you tuck your cock in, but how big your fake tits are, because the bigger the tits, the less broad your shoulders look, making the only real complicated thing about being a woman in a man’s body is explaining to your mother why all of her lingerie is stretched out and to the random men you bring home, why you have a penis…..cuz from what I’ve been told, that kind of deception gets trannies killed. True story.

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan

2008

08

Aug

Brooke Hogan Bikini of the Day

Brooke Hogan looks more like she’s on her way to wrestle a bear for a group of Russian soldiers who are already drunk off vodka and in the mood to see a big burly woman’s strength before gang raping her, because when a woman can fight off a bear, she should theoretically be able to fight off 20 men with erections, and if she loses, then she gets dicked, and a lot less like Florida Trailer Park Trash,

I assume she got plastic surgery in hopes of looking more like the girl his dad’s done gone off with, leaving her all alone and scared while feeling undesirable as both her career and family life fall the fuck apart and daddy won’t make her feel nice in her special place like he has done all these years, because he’s found a new Blonde young chick to bang and who is more socially acceptable to bang than bangin his daughter.

It reminds me of a 70′s porn I used to watch to lift my spirits called “Sharon”. It was a story of a girl who was jealous that her dad was fucking her hotter sister, leading her to lose her virginity with a man who picked her up while hitchiking, and her dad to continue to fuck the hotter sister comparing her pussy to her mother’s and other twisted shit that touched on themes of inadequacy and parental approval, incest and sexual disovery that made it almost Academy Award worthy, if only it wasn’t shot on the first ever video camera ever made and if only it wasn’t porn, shit would have had a whole different impact on the world than it has.

I wish I could find a copy of that movie, it was a classic that never got the recognition it deserved, unlike Brooke Hogan, who is pretty much the opposite and for the slow ones out there, that means she’s trash that got more airtime than she ever deserved.

Either way, check out Brooke Hogan’s tits and ball bulge in her white pants on the beach….

PS – I have a fever so if what I write makes no sense, it’s cuz I am dying, ya fuckin’ Pervert.

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan

2008

25

Jul

Brooke Hogan Bikini By The Pool of the Day

I was talking to someone about Brooke Hogan’s staged bikini pictures yesterday, not because I talk about any of this shit outside of my computer, but because I was bitching about staged paparazzi shit. I mean there was a time when celebs actually hated the paparazzi and didn’t just pretend to hate them. A time where there were actually being intruded on and caught in the fuckin’ act, but that was a different era. Today all people care about is being seen and usually to make that happen you need to pull a crazier stunt than the next guy. That usually ends up in sex tapes and bikini pictures, nipple slips and panty shots.

It’s kinda like everytime I’m in a bar and trying to get a girls attention, only there are 10 other dudes up on her running the nice guy game, so the only way to make sure she remembers me is to offend her or throw my drink on her or punch her in the face because I have no plan to go home with the girl or buy her drinks, I just feel the need for her to know who I am.

So the fun of trying to ruin celebrity lives runs to the wayside/wasteside, because they are staging this shit themselves because it generates buzz and that sucks, but not as much as it sucks to be the guy banging Brooke Hogan because he hasn’t come to terms with his sexuality and I feel like living a lie is worse that taking it up the ass. She kind of the gateway girl to coming out, at least she’s finally found her purpose.

Here she is in a bikini….this time without her dad rubbing her down , or playing around and hanging from trees like a 5 year old ….which makes them pretty boring because a life without childhood behavior caused by a life of incest between father and daughter is a life not worth livin’….

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan|Miami

2008

24

Jul

Brooke Hogan Rocks a Bikini in Some Staged Pictures of the Day

Yesterday’s news was that Brooke Hogan hasn’t turned down an offer to show off her manly muscles in Playboy. I originally thought it was weird that she was entertaining the offer, not because she doesn’t need the publicity push since her heyday is pretty much expired and is already a hasbeen before ever really being anyone, but because her dad’s always against her pictures being “too sexy” for lad mags and shows up on set to make sure everything is at the acceptable level of slut.

An insider close to the family told me that Hulk actually approached Playboy because Brooke is finally starting to catch onto the fact that it’s not normal for him to watch her and masturbate while she showers or for him to hide in the closet while and watch her as she fucks or even for him to “accidentally” walk in on her everytime she’s changing, and he just wants to have some photographic tastefully shot images that he can sneak into the bathroom with him whenever he needs to get off without having to deal with Brooke’s questions when she realizes his behavior’s been inappropriate.

I heard that he even thought about hiring a photographer to do the shots for him, but without sound reason or purpose, the photographer refused the job because it was creepy and this is Playboy shit is his last real option to cum to his little girl’s pussy hair and make some money in the process….

Either way, here are some staged bikini pictures because this girl is trying hard, and the whole staged pictures phenomenon really takes away from the joy of posting candid shots that I used to love doing. It’s like the publicists caught on to the fact that sexy or sleazy gets noticed and they decided to fabricate sexy or sleazy situations in hopes of getting the same results, but it’s just too fucking obvious and breaks my heart in doing what I do.

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan