Jessica Simspon Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2017

19

Sep

Jessica Simpson’s Husband Turned 38 and Wore a Bavarian Fetish Outfit of the Day

I guess Jessica Simpson’s husband had a birthday and she posted some OKTOBERFEST beer maid fetish picture of herself and him, in what may have been a great moment they spent together while sitting on a pile of her money, or maybe they are into GERMANS…ARYANS…WHITE POWER…NAZI….

OR MAYBE it was one those moments where dude asked himself “shit, I’m married to Jessica Simpson and made babies inside her, I remember jerking off to her tits back when I was in YALE…before spending all over 2 years in the NFL….it’s like shit, this girl could be with anyone, but I moved in on her in her 2010 fat years when no one wanted her, and I secured that shit…I mean there are guys with multi year contracts who would want to bang Jessica Simpson, hell she’s Jessica Simpson…but she chose me, or rather my sperm chose her, either way my wife is JESSICA SIMPSON…and I never have to work again….I am K-Fed if K-Fed pretended he wasn’t K-Fed with Ivy League education and 2 years in a pro sports league…you know…K-Fed who can trick people into think he’s not K-Fed”..

38 is great when you have a thick famous bitch with huge tits to bankroll your life.

That’s all I have to say about that.

Posted in:Jessica Simspon|SFW

2015

06

Jul

Jessica Simpson’s Helicopter Photoshoot for AMerica of the Day

No Comments »

Jessica Simpson posted this picture for the Fourth of July, mocking the American Troops who have died for your freedom, by being a relatively beefy girl in a bathing suit, pretending to do what they do…or maybe I am just looking too much into this attempt at being a modern pin-up thanks to having the body of girl big enough to have been considered hot during the Great Depression, mainly because at her size it meant she could afford more than just dirt and cockroaches for dinner…so fancy…where as in this generation it means..you can afford fast food…how the times have changed…

Posted in:Jessica Simspon|SFW

2008

11

Sep

Jessica Simpson is Seriously Desperate for Male Attention of the Day

8 Comments »

I posted these Jessica Simpson pics the other day without realizing that there was an ass flash during the performance, I am sure I am not the first guy to neglect this girls ass, even though everytime she has sex homeboy is trying his fuckin’ hardest to get up in it for fear of accidentally knocking her up because we all know how badly she wants a baby. She’s the kind of girl you use a condom with and when you are done, you bury that shit in the backyard in hopes that her desperate womb doesn’t find it and flip it inside out to try to imregnate herself with it.

I feel for this girl though, it’s always hard for an older sibling to see their younger sibling do things before them, but I think if she took the time to actually see who knocked Ashlee up, she’d feel better about things and probably back the fuck up from all the food that fat ass has been emotionally eating.

Either way, this is a pretty interesting take on being country, I wonder when she’ll incorporate the live sex with a horse component to the performance, I hear that’s how they do it back home on the farm when there’s no cock to be found for 4 counties….I don’t know what I am talking about.

Posted in:Jessica Simspon|Performance|Upskirt

2008

22

Apr

Jessica Simpson Sluts Out With Food of the Day

4 Comments »

I never really incorporated sex into food, except for the occasional time I convinced whatever girl I was with to shove a beer bottle in her cooch, but that always took too much energy and insertion shit is pretty gross cuz you don’t know where the fuck the found object came from and seeing a condom on anything makes it look ridiculous and unsexy, especially when that anything is a bottle, food, or whatever the fuck bitch is shoving up in her.

My wife recently wanted to bring food into our sex life that I like to think is non-existent but sometimes I fuck up and give into my natural urges, but in all fairness food’s not so much a fetish for her, it just seems like more of a hobby she really digs, so the food is only licked off each other when she spills the shit and can’t let a morsel go to waste. I wonder if that’s how you spell mosel. It’s a pretty gay word.

Here’s Jessica Simpson singing for her love Tony Romo on his birthday, where they playfully make a mess out of the cake with each other and make out with their mouths full. Having a filled up mouth is a pretty common scenario that Jessica Simpson is use to because it’s the only way her boyfriends can shut the bitch up, because whenever she talks it makes them question why they are doing what they are doing until taking another glimpse of her tits.

This whole thing makes me thing of Nick Lachey and their wedding that ended in misery, but then again, everything makes me think of Nick Lachey, he’s so dreamy…..I guess that gay started with the word morsel and built up to this. I’d apologize but why bother….no one’s reading this anyway….

Posted in:Cake|Jessica Simspon|Slut

2007

03

Oct

I am – Jessica Simpson’s Crazy Cleavage of the Day

2 Comments »

Big tits are cool.

Related Posts:

Jessica Simpson on Set Jogging Action in Shorts
Jessica SImpson Playing a Drunk
Jessica Simpson’s Got Some Ripped Legs
Jessica Simpson Has Nipples

Posted in:cleavage|Jessica Simspon|Tits|Unsorted

2007

03

Oct

I am – Jessica Simpson's Crazy Cleavage of the Day

2 Comments »

Big tits are cool.

Related Posts:

Jessica Simpson on Set Jogging Action in Shorts
Jessica SImpson Playing a Drunk
Jessica Simpson’s Got Some Ripped Legs
Jessica Simpson Has Nipples

Posted in:cleavage|Jessica Simspon|Tits|Unsorted