Here are Nicolette Sheridan and her fiance Michael Bolton walking out of some LA restaurant called the Ivy with a doggie bag. I always thought that doggie bags were for poor people who wanted to get their money’s worth at a restaurant, you know, if there was one slice of pizza left, they’d take that shit home because they paid for it and wouldn’t let it go to waste. But rich people are supposed to be assholes, who buy everything on the menu, take one bite out of the meal, spit it out and send it back, only to walk out pissed off at the world and to never go back and to make sure their other rich friends never go back. So despite having never having heard of her before Desperate Housewives, I have unfortunately heard Michael Bolton, and even though it gets every 45 year old woman and her mother wet, even after menopause, that shit rapes my fucking ears. But there are a lot of women in the world and it is safe to say he’s sold a lot of albums and that he could afford to send that meal back even if his fiance only took one bite because she’s trying to watch her figure, and thank god she is because she looks fucking solid for a 45 year old woman who still gets wet for Michael Bolton, even after menopause.

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