old Archives Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2010

24

May

Cameron Diaz is Melting of the Day

It’s like watching a candle during a boring dinner conversation with your wife during a power failure cuz you didn’t pay your utility bill…You know seeing something put together slowly turn into a pile of fucking mush….not that bitch is ugly…it’s just that now she’s a hot older lady instead of hot young pussy I wanted to explore…but I guess that’s what happens when you don’t die at 30, even if 90 percent of your sex appeal does….

So here are some pics of her face melting into old age and the whole thing is kinda depressing because I remember her being hot young pussy…meaning I’m probably melting too…but I’m an irrelevant dude and I’ve realized I’m dying on the inside long ago….not some starlet people used to masturbate to like Cameron Diaz and these disappointing pics reminding us that all good pussy comes to an end…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Cameron Diaz|old

2010

12

May

Uma Thurman Old and Sloppy Tit of the Day

5 Comments »

I was never a fan of Uma Thurman. There was never anything hot about her, except maybe her big tits, but like all things attached to a woman, they age and end up sloppy as fuck….but I have a feeling that your comic book loving, virgin, tit loving cuz you weren’t breast fed and haven’t played with enough tits, seeing the real deal Uma Thurman is far more exhilerating than the Kill Bill action figure you’ve been stuffing into your ass the last Monday for the last three years, cuz Tuesday is for Rose McGowan, Wednesday Rosario Dawson, Thursday for Sarah Michelle Gellar and the rest of the week is for the other women you see in movies who your delusional ass thinks you are married to because you stapled her pics to your bed…..

Pics via Fame

Posted in:old|Sloppy|Uma Thurman

2010

08

Apr

Cameron Diaz is Old and Hot Even When She’s Not of the Day

5 Comments »

I got this weird thing where I find Cameron Diaz hot even though I know she’s nothing but an old and botoxed to shit…Maybe it’s her tall thin body, or the fact that she looks like she’s open minded to getting fucked up the ass, or the fact that her long legs look like they’d made a good scarf that would leave me tasting remnants of Justin Timberlake and the wide variety of cock that years of being hot celebrity pussy has left stained inside her….so even boring pics of her excite me, especially when she seems like she’s distraught.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Cameron Diaz|old

2010

25

Mar

Kelly Bensimon in Her Bikini of the Day

3 Comments »

Here’s some wallet fucker who managed to get noticed. Maybe it has to do with her keeping her ex-husbands name, who in case you didn’t know, is some rich fashion photographer who has kids with bitches like Elle Macpherson, or maybe it’s because of her talent as a well respected model no ones ever heard of….

She’s on a show called Real Housewives of New York that I fucking hope you don’t watch, and she’s got a pretty ripped fucking body, especially for a mother of two, but the probably with bitches with really ripped bodies, is that they kinda start lookin’ like dudes.

I’m not into tired, haggard, old, sloppy pussy, but you probably are, so here she is in her bikini….and the pictures are about as inspiring as this post. Thanks Kelly Bensimon for being totally uninspiring. You cunt.

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Bikini|Kelly Bensimon|old

2010

23

Mar

Molly Ringwald and her Boobs Look Horrible of the Day

5 Comments »

I’ve seen all the 80s movies and I don’t think Molly Ringwald was ever cast as the hot chick…I doubt guys every had crushes on her…I knew she was the weird awkward looking skinny chick other girls could relate to.

So there was no surprise she’d age horribly, but I didn’t expect her to ever look like this….seriously…this is the kind of girl you put in a rehab center with rapists and sex addicts to turn them asexual….lend her to Tiger Woods for a month and dude will be fine….or the kind of person closet case fags date so that they don’t have to dive into homosexuality but can test the waters thanks to her her broad shoulders and thick back…

She’s doing Yoga, showing off some mom tit, not bothering anyone, so I am an asshole disrupting her quiet life that came when she escaped from Hollywood, one far less morbid than Corey Haim, but I do think people should think about getting her more work…I’m sure tons of movies need someone to play the school janitor….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Molly Ringwald|old|Scary

2010

16

Mar

Jerry Hall You’re Lookin’ Good Sweetheart of the Day

3 Comments »

Jerry Hall was a top model in the 1970-and now she’s scary as fuck, which makes you wonder what kind of girls get booked as models. I know for the most part they take a good picture when they are young and before they are eaten by the fucking lifestyle of hard drinking and drugs, but when you get the make-up off and give them a few year in bake in the sun, they are nothing but serious monsters. Sure, in pictures a 6 foot tall chick looks like she’d be fun to get up inside, but when you put her in heels and stand next to her at the bar, it feels more like you can crawl up her leg and burry yourself into her womb to keep warm when you’ve been evicted and have no where else to go…unfortunately, the freaks of natures have these egos that come with charing 2000 dollars a picture that makes them uninterested in short fat men, even though you’d think they’d take anything they could get based on their look, when really they have more money and glamor than they know what to do with…that’s why you should always be nice to freakishly tall women…when they are young, because by the time they weather like Jerry Hall, there’s pretty much nothing left for you…except maybe Mick Jagger divorce settlement money…but even that may not be enough to distract a man from this fucked up face.

Here she is in her prime for those of you who probably have no idea who Jerry Hall is….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Posted in:Jerry Hall|Model|old

2010

01

Mar

Pam Anderson’s Old Fake Tits Giving Envelopes Hep C of the Day

7 Comments »

I thought people who protested Peta were supposed to “rather go nude than wear fur” or get body painted like animals and thrown into cages. The kind of thing where everyone who got the press release got all excited cuz it sounds hot in theory and makes it out to see the shit go down, only to realize the only people who get nude for fur, or who get body painted for the ethical treatment of animals are fucking bull dykes, with beer belly’s and shitty tits thanks to the hormones they’ve been taking to become a dude. You know the same bitches who spell “Women” with a “Y” so it reads “Womyn” and they can say shit like “Taking the men out of the womyn” cuz they are fucking dykes and that’s what dykes do….

Here is Pam Anderson supporting animal rights, even though her original fake tits were tested on animals before allowed in humans, and somewhere out there is a cat with DDs they don’t want you to know about, and she’s doing it by giving envelopes her hepatitis while fully clothed in some really horrible unsexy outfit, pretty much making this campaign obsolete. The whole idea of getting Pam Anderson on board is so she walks around in a one-piece, not so that she dresses like your grandmother going to bed, even though she’s almost old enough to be a grandmother….and the real question is who really fucking cares….I’m thinking no one….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Fake Tits|old|Pam Anderson

2010

18

Feb

Pam Anderson’s Nipples in a Skimpy Outfit of the Day

11 Comments »

I know. Seeing Pam Anderson modeling for her boring played out homo club kid friend after all these years never gets old, but she does. Seriously, her body, no matter how hard she tries to keep it up to date, it just keeps falling short, but I guess gay people are just drawn to how fun and famous she is and don’t care that she looks like a fuckin dude as her feminity slowly drips out of her in her final periods, if anything they celebrate that dry pussy shit….

The sad news is that I’d still suck the hepatitis out of her dirty used up pussy, but that’s not saying much for Pam Anderson, it’s just saying a whole lot about me.

Bonus – Some Amanda Lepore Nipple for the Weird Tranny Lovers….

Pics via Fame

2010

20

Jan

Katie Price and her Tired Face, Stupid Tits and Puke Dress of the Day

No Comments »

Katie Price is getting old and her plastic surgery doesn’t seem like it is keeping up with the aging process no matter how hard she tries.

Sure, she still has her stupid tits that distract you from all else wrong with her, but her face looks pretty hacked up and tired, but I guess that’s what happens when your career is based on getting fucked up at parties and getting fucked in sex tapes before doing stupid photoshoot and marrying a gay dude who was under the impression you were a man because of the bulge you have in your pants….

So I guess her dress that looks like the puke covered snow outside my local bar, you know a wide variety of colors of puke you don’t really want to put in your mouth or eat, kinda the same feelings you’d have when faced with her pussy….

But we watched her come up, we might as well watch her fall and that concludes our review of short lived pathetic careers.

Pics via INF

Posted in:Haggard|Katie Price|old|Tired|Tits

2009

31

Dec

Angelina Jolie for Old Times of the Day

4 Comments »

I think the most talked about celebrity this decade was Angelina Jolie. I don’t really keep track of that shit but I do know that as a nation, we were force fed every fucking thing about her, and I figured that on the last day of the year, I had no choice but to post the bitch, clearly 10 years older and not the hot pussy she once was, but still a hotter pussy than the pussy we’re fucking. I guess this is just a reminder that we all get older and that nothing is forever but as long as we’re not dead, it’s not so bad….so here she is on set the other day….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Angelina Jolie|old

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