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Archive for the old Category

2008

04

Mar

Demi Moore is Living in the Past of the Day

There’s nothing wrong with people like Demi Moore who can’t deal with getting older, they just keep on holding onto their drowning youth as long as they fuckin’ can. It happens all the time in all walks for life with both men and women, so I guess it’s not that big of a deal that she’s hoping that no one notices that she isn’t that desirable young slut who Bruce Willis was making really fuckin’ ugly babies inside anymore, so she goes after the 25 year old boy toys, she gets 500,000 dollars of plastic surgery and now she brings out copies of her Vanity Fair cover from 1990 when she was naked, pregnant and more relevant in the world. A time before we knew her uterus was a fuckin’ wreck and made mutant babies, at least that’s the Rumer….

Seeing her sign her old Vanity Fair cover reminds me of the football quarterback in high school who is fat, divorced and living in a 1 bedroom apartment, lifting boxes in the warehouse now, but still brings his high school yearbook out to the bar to brag to the kids about his glory days when all the bitches wanted his dick….but now all he’s got is internet porn and hookers to love….

Posted in:Demi Moore|old

2008

29

Feb

Elle Macpherson Lookin’ Old and Hot of the Day

Here are some pictures of Elle Macpherson from the other day showin’ a little bra because she’s still got it going on for an old lady.

She is the woman who first introduced me to Australian Bikini models during a 1988 cover of SI and I still think she’s probably a better fuck now than she was then. Not only has Elle probably had more loads in her than either of them, but she’s also in her pre-menopausal prime that makes her want to bounce on as many dicks as she can before her vagina dries up and stops working. KInda like how my wife gets when see sees the staff at the Chinese Buffet closing up….

Love Me or Hate Me? Give me a Call and Let Me Know How You Really Feel….Don’t Hack My Site Again
GO

Posted in:Elle Macpherson|Hot|old|Slut

2008

13

Feb

Ivana Trump and Her Hot Body in a BIkini of the Day

Ivana Trump proves why divorce is amazing, because when Donald Trump married her she was a young hot communist Czech model. Look at her now. I guess that’s why Trump’s traded her in for newer, younger models and few times over. She’s old, thick and looks disgusting in a bikini and no one wants to wake up to that.

The good news is that she’s rich too and people are whores so she can rent someone to play her young boyfriend when they are out in public and I guess when they are behind closed doors and her floppy old lady menopausal vagina needs loving. If you look close enough at these pictures you can see dollar signs in this motherfucker’s eyes and bills pouring out of her speedo….but she’s rich and it’s a small price to pay to give an old lady some confidence and the feeling of still being wanted after looking in the mirror. It’s like buying a new hat or new car to impress her boring married friends.

I tried impressing someone once. I wanted to rent a car to impress a girl I met on the street and who agreed to go on a date with me. So I called all the rental car companies and they were all too pricey for me. A neighbor of mine saw me distraught about the whole thing because I really wanted to fuck this chick and I knew having a car was needed to make that happen because she was one of those high class girls and he offered me his car. I accepted.

I picked up the girl and within fifteen minutes we got pulled over for a burnt out tail light and the cops decided to do a quick search of the trunk because they realized it wasn’t my car and though that I was a criminal. My date was pretty surprised when they found a half naked chick bound and gagged in the trunk, but not as surprised as me. I tried explaining to the cops that it wasn’t my car and all that shit, but we both got arrested.

After a few hours of questioning they called in my neighbor and the girl in the trunk and it turned out that the girl was his girlfriend and that they were into some fucking kinky dominatrix sex games and this was just one of them.

Point of my story is that my date wasn’t impressed no matter how hard I tried and I think Ivana Trump’s time has come and gone and she should probably take up knitting and baking. Leave the bikini pics for her plastic surgery lovin’ daughter, because she’s got some tits on her that I wouldn’t mind feeding off of for a night.

Posted in:Bikini|Ivana Trump|old|Tits

2007

23

Nov

I am – Cindy Crawford Bikini Pictures of the Day

cindy_crawford_bikini_top.jpg

In being hungover, uninspired, bored and lazy. I decided to let some girl who added me to facebook write this post without having seen the pictures because this shit’s like American Idol, the blog version, only difference is, writing on the site doesn’t make you an idol to anyone except maybe to people in third world countries, but that’s just because they’re jealous that you have a computer and free time to spend writing garbage for a website, while they’re out working the field and eating bugs to survive.

This is what she wrote:

Cindy Crawford is an ugly old bitch who sucks and I ahte her. I wish she would take that mole off her face and shove it down her throat so that she’d choke and then die. But I’d still fuck her.


Related Posts:

Cindy Crawford Covering Her Old Body on the Beach
Cindy Crawford’s a Nose Picker
Cindy Crawford’s Got Some Cleavage
Cindy Crawford and Her Bondage Hat

Posted in:Bikini|Cindy Crawford|Model|old|Unsorted

2007

03

Nov

I am – Princess Stephanie in a Bikini of the Day

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So I got really fucking wasted and it was fuckin’ messy. I don’t remember much more than a whole lot of shit talking and meeting a group of people from Australia who were amazing. One of them was this little hot Hilary Duff girl who I was trying to seduce with my drunken conversation but ended up fucking it up because I am easily distracted and got some girl who claimed she was 15 to stick her tongue in my mouth. She was jacked on blow and her tongue tasted like shit, but I did it because I had no choice. It was my duty.

On the walk home, I decided to stand outside a chachi bar and talk to my people, because me and chachi motherfuckers are cut from the same cloth. After being blown off by every single one of them, I decided to tell the world how Montreal is filled with losers. Lucky for me, I was next to Mr Strong Mafia Guy, who must have been the ambassador for the city, because when I walked by him and told him he was a Montreal piece of shit loser, he told me to fuck off, so I said that I’d fucking kill him and he went fuckin’ crazy. I guess Junior Mafia Guido and his 240 lbs of muscle doesn’t like when short fat motherfuckers tell him they are going to kill him, because he fuckin threw down his blazer and unbuttoned his shirt while his slut of a girlfriend tried holding him back saying shit like “if you do this I am leaving” and other really dramatic things that her stupid brian managed to put together. I am glad I made their night more exciting. I like to think of myself as some kind of Santa Claus who brings joy to people’s lives every time I leave my house. This is all batting practice for stepTV 2008 baby.

Princess Stephanie is kinda like Santa Claus too, only instead of gifts she brings an old body in a bikini and on days like today, that’s just as good. Cuddles.


Related Posts:

Princess Madeleine Bikini Pictures
Little Princesses Morning Reflections that Scare Me

Posted in:Bikini|old|Princess Stephanie|Unsorted

2007

29

Oct

I am – Elvira’s Still Alive and Slutty of the Day

elvira_old_slut_top.jpg

Here are some pictures of Elvira because it’s Halloweeen and being Elvira means that you can only work for this one week a year which works out nicely for her because she’s gotta be in her 60s and this shit is some semi-retired living in Florida career. All she has to do is squeeze herself into some kind of tight motherfucking outfit, show off her big tits and show up,

Speaking of squeezing into tight clothes, I was walking down the street today, and as you all know, leggings are all the fucking rage for young girls thanks to American Apparel. Well it turns out that fat girls with fat asses think that since shit’s in style, they have a right to offend all of us with their tight pants and big asses all hanging out all over the motherfucking place. I don’t know where I am going with this, because I am too nice to call a girl out for being fat and offensive, but I Elivra reminded me of what I saw and felt the need to drop it like it’s hot, when really it’s not hot at all, it’s the shit that’s turning all these young dude’s gay.

Either way, I know a lot of girls who would love to get paid for that kind of thing, but instead are doing it for free, or for STDs and babies, so in a lot of ways Elvira is living the dream and it’s really too bad that she’s not asked to attend more Christmas, New Years, Easter, Labor Day and Independence Day events.


Related Posts:

Lauren Mayhew’s Shitty Halloween Costume from Last Year
Lohan’s Shitty Halloween Costume Last Year
The Duffsgusting Sister’s Shitty Halloween Costumes from Last Year

Posted in:cleavage|Elvira|old|Slut|Tits|Unsorted

2007

29

Oct

I am – Elvira's Still Alive and Slutty of the Day

elvira_old_slut_top.jpg

Here are some pictures of Elvira because it’s Halloweeen and being Elvira means that you can only work for this one week a year which works out nicely for her because she’s gotta be in her 60s and this shit is some semi-retired living in Florida career. All she has to do is squeeze herself into some kind of tight motherfucking outfit, show off her big tits and show up,

Speaking of squeezing into tight clothes, I was walking down the street today, and as you all know, leggings are all the fucking rage for young girls thanks to American Apparel. Well it turns out that fat girls with fat asses think that since shit’s in style, they have a right to offend all of us with their tight pants and big asses all hanging out all over the motherfucking place. I don’t know where I am going with this, because I am too nice to call a girl out for being fat and offensive, but I Elivra reminded me of what I saw and felt the need to drop it like it’s hot, when really it’s not hot at all, it’s the shit that’s turning all these young dude’s gay.

Either way, I know a lot of girls who would love to get paid for that kind of thing, but instead are doing it for free, or for STDs and babies, so in a lot of ways Elvira is living the dream and it’s really too bad that she’s not asked to attend more Christmas, New Years, Easter, Labor Day and Independence Day events.


Related Posts:

Lauren Mayhew’s Shitty Halloween Costume from Last Year
Lohan’s Shitty Halloween Costume Last Year
The Duffsgusting Sister’s Shitty Halloween Costumes from Last Year

Posted in:cleavage|Elvira|old|Slut|Tits|Unsorted

2007

26

Oct

I am – Carmen Electra’s Big Old Tits of the Day

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Carmen Electra still has fake tits and I may hate fake tits, but she looks good enough for me, probably better than any girl you’d bump into on the street and awkwardly follow for 16 blocks in hopes that they strike up conversation with you so that you can take her home and cum in her face.

I was talking to a dude earlier this week who was having problems with the girl he was slamming. She was scared of sucking dick, but never told him that she wasn’t into it, she would just do everything in her power to avoid sucking it. I’ve never known any girl who hasn’t sucked dick, because there’s no way she’d get past the initial interview for the job if I did, but I have heard that it’s pretty fucking common and that sucks but not literally. The closest I’ve had to a girl who hates sucking dick is a girl who goes down on you for a minute then lets you fuck her and feels like she’s done her part because there was penis contact with her mouth. I guess busting nut is the goal of hanging out and the fact that she’s giving up her vagina is a good enough reason to keep her around, but the best way around it if you’re stuck with a girl who doesn’t want dick in her mouth is to force her to do it, and while you are forcing her explain that you’re just helping her be a better person, I am sure she’ll understand while she’s trying to push you off to get the fuck out of there to call the cops.

Either way, I am sure Carmen Electra sucks dick.


Related Posts:

Carmen Electra and Her Bikini
Carmen Electra’s is a Hot Walking
Carmen Electra Shops for Lingerie
Carmen Electra Hang Out With Homeless People

Posted in:Carmen Electra|cleavage|old|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

26

Oct

I am – Carmen Electra's Big Old Tits of the Day

carmen_electra_cleavage_tits_top.jpg

Carmen Electra still has fake tits and I may hate fake tits, but she looks good enough for me, probably better than any girl you’d bump into on the street and awkwardly follow for 16 blocks in hopes that they strike up conversation with you so that you can take her home and cum in her face.

I was talking to a dude earlier this week who was having problems with the girl he was slamming. She was scared of sucking dick, but never told him that she wasn’t into it, she would just do everything in her power to avoid sucking it. I’ve never known any girl who hasn’t sucked dick, because there’s no way she’d get past the initial interview for the job if I did, but I have heard that it’s pretty fucking common and that sucks but not literally. The closest I’ve had to a girl who hates sucking dick is a girl who goes down on you for a minute then lets you fuck her and feels like she’s done her part because there was penis contact with her mouth. I guess busting nut is the goal of hanging out and the fact that she’s giving up her vagina is a good enough reason to keep her around, but the best way around it if you’re stuck with a girl who doesn’t want dick in her mouth is to force her to do it, and while you are forcing her explain that you’re just helping her be a better person, I am sure she’ll understand while she’s trying to push you off to get the fuck out of there to call the cops.

Either way, I am sure Carmen Electra sucks dick.


Related Posts:

Carmen Electra and Her Bikini
Carmen Electra’s is a Hot Walking
Carmen Electra Shops for Lingerie
Carmen Electra Hang Out With Homeless People

Posted in:Carmen Electra|cleavage|old|Tits|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

25

Oct

I am – Nicolette Sheridan is a Hot Old Lady of the Day

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Here are Nicolette Sheridan and her fiance Michael Bolton walking out of some LA restaurant called the Ivy with a doggie bag. I always thought that doggie bags were for poor people who wanted to get their money’s worth at a restaurant, you know, if there was one slice of pizza left, they’d take that shit home because they paid for it and wouldn’t let it go to waste. But rich people are supposed to be assholes, who buy everything on the menu, take one bite out of the meal, spit it out and send it back, only to walk out pissed off at the world and to never go back and to make sure their other rich friends never go back. So despite having never having heard of her before Desperate Housewives, I have unfortunately heard Michael Bolton, and even though it gets every 45 year old woman and her mother wet, even after menopause, that shit rapes my fucking ears. But there are a lot of women in the world and it is safe to say he’s sold a lot of albums and that he could afford to send that meal back even if his fiance only took one bite because she’s trying to watch her figure, and thank god she is because she looks fucking solid for a 45 year old woman who still gets wet for Michael Bolton, even after menopause.

Related Posts:

Nicolette Sheridan in Some Red Lycra Pants
Michael Bolton’s Fleshlight…in the Flesh
Some Nicolette Sheridan On The Beach With Dogs in Her Bikini
Older Nicolette Sheridan Bikini Pictures

Posted in:Hot|Michael Bolton|Nicolette Sheridan|old|Unsorted