Vote for Bree Olson of the Day

2009

Apr

I love Bree Olson. She doesn’t have fake tits, she doesn’t look like a washed up porn chick who hates her life, she is bubbly and looks like she’s having a good time when she fucks, like she’s living the fuckin’ life. Her body is real and looks pleasant to impregnate and she’s always been good to me, and by good to me, I mean she answers my emails and doesn’t call me a fucking creep and call the police on me when I tell her I am on my way to Indiana to feed her corn and by corn I mean my dick….

So I have no choice but to be good to her. So when I saw she was promoting this contest, I had to make sure she would win, I actually told her to trust me to make her win, so I’m hoping every one of you votes for her on the daily, because she deserves this, and because otherwise I’m going to look like a total fucking asshole.

So if she doesn’t win, there’s no fucking way I’ll ever get you exclusive Bree Olson content. But if she does win, I will film an awkward sex tape with her. That’s a promise, I mean as long as she’s willing. My limp dick and her big tits will make movie fuckin’ magic, I’m talking academy award worthy performances, because the academy awards love retards down on their luck making it with pornstars. But don’t count on her agreeing, since girls generally don’t fuck me, even when I offer money and Bree and me really are not that close, but maybe after this, all my dreams will come true.