The benefit of being a college drunken frat slut is that you know how to have one night stands, take the morning after pill, mask your herpes scabs, and most importanly the ability to lie to your parents about the $500 they sent you for “textbooks”, but was really spend on a baggy of coke and 2 abortions. That shit don’t come for free….don’t feel bad, I think he would have been an irresponsible father, the way he was doing those beer bongs off the strippers tits, convinced me that you made the right choice. I guess the real exciting part of your life was after college, when you found out that some reality show was recruiting and figured it would be a legitimate reason to maintain your lifestyle, as the drunken whore, without feeling the level of responsibility your married suburban friends felt. I am sure the emptiness you tried to fill with cock everynight allowed you to believe you were worth something, and that all your friends were jealous of you, even though you humiliated yourself on the national level, not just in your small town. I guess the day you were asked to do The Surreal Life, you knew the dreams you had of stardom had fallen through the cracks. At least you showed us your titties before you killed yourself, cuz diggin up your coffin and undressing your AIDS corpse is not something I would be willing to do. However, I have a feeling many of my readers would have a different take on this, you know when they’re dead, they can’t say no….something you may want to consider!
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