Her name is Dolores de Muela, she is a burlesque dancer or some shit at some wrestling ring, where chicks fight and dance…. I like burlesque dancers and circus freaks and carnivals. I saw this trend coming years ago, I knew it would be popular because I am an unofficial trendspotter, but that’s not the point, the point is this burlesque dancing mexican vixen messaged me on myspace saying:
i looooooooove your site. I was turned on to it a year and a half ago when I interned at ET. Everyone in the news room adores it 🙂
UPDATE:
when i was interning at the ET news room I was always sent to run things to the studio. Twice I had to run over some ex-lax to paula abdul. It was a great internship. I learned a lot.
I don’t know what ET she’s talking about, but if it is Entertainment Tonight, I want to call those newsroom cocksuckers out and get them to plug me on their show. I have always had a thing for Mary Hart, and I always wanted to titty fuck her legs, until recent years, when she got fat, but I’d still do it….because sometimes fantasies never die. Say something like “According to DrunkenStepfather.com Lindsay Lohan Has Aids” or something…..
Back to my Burlesque myspace girlfriend, who I love and want to book to perform at the StepPARTY then impregnate her when she’s not looking, by cumming on her costume or something cuz she’d never sleep with me….dude, I am witnessing myself crash and burn…so read her story, it’s time for me to stop.
My father (god rest his soul) was the head captain of the best shrimp boat in Guadalajara. One Monday he cast his net and caught an astonishing 820 pounds of tiger shrimp. As he was empting out his net he looked down and noticed a beautiful sparkly shrimp. His eyes met her beady little eyes and his lips were magically drawn to her wet little antennas. It was shrimpy love at first sight! Days later the little shrimp became pregnant with me and my 1,999 little sisters. Unfortunately, the 1,999 others did not survive delivery. Ashamed and despaired they eloped and joined “Manuelito’s Fabuloso Circo de Pulgas” (Manuel’s Fabulous Flea Circus). For only in the circus were people kind, accepting, and willing to shell out big bucks to look at us. My family and I traveled the world as, “The man who married a shrimp and their lovechild”. I spent my mid-late-teen years performing and dancing shrimpily to audiences of all ages. Since my mother lived in a glass bowl on a shelf… I looked to strippers and trapeze artists for motherly advice. It was from them where, I learned how to shimmy, shake, and get down.
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