I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

29

Mar

I am – Sexual Restraint of the Day

SexRestraint1.jpg

I used to do a feature called Sexual Restraint of the Day, it was never very popular, and I don’t think they ever got a single comment on them, so doing one today just felt right. I can relate to the underdog. I don’t have any fetishes because I am too busy sitting on my couch to think about things that turn me on, but if I wasn’t a fat lazy impotent piece of shit, I would be down with Medical Restraints. It’s for the EMS worker in all of us, you know first to the scene of the accident kind of thing…wipe off the blood and get to work kind of thing, strap a bitch down rip off her shirt and give her CPR kind of thing, stick it inside her on the way to the hospital cuz there’s just enough time to get off kind of thing. There is nothing really wrong with doing that, you saved her life, if it wasn’t for you she’d be dead, so you kind of own her and let’s face it, she can’t really say no anyway.

My suggestion for you is to introduce this shit on your first date, the bitch won’t think you’re strange, and if she asks you to drive her home, immediately, you know what to do, (slam your car into a tree) and remember you can always get a new car…and you have the perfect opportunity to use the brace. I think you were a perfect gentleman, you gave her to the option to participate in your game voluntarily, it’s her fault for not cooperating.

Wow, this post should make everyone think I am a sexual predator, it’s funny how easy that was to do.


Cervical Collar and Spine Immobilizer

This is a medical head and spinal immobilizer system. It comes with a large 4 1/4 inch high Cervical Collar and a spine immobilizer unit that is designed to fit with the cervical collar. No cervical collar alone provides sufficient immobilization. The body immobilizer applies support for the cervical spine. Velcro wrist restraints are provided to keep hands restrained at chest area. This is a very restrictive, impressive device. Comes complete with instruction manual.

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