She was a top model in the 90’s, she was in the Chris Isaac video for Wicked Games, she was a Victoria Secret Model. Here she is rockin’ a bikini in Miami, cuz that’s just what people do in Miami. She is 38 years old and I’d still try to get her pregnant, even though she’s probably dried up and it would take a few trips to the fertility clinic and shit, but it’s something I am willing to do. I am 36 and tend to chase after 18-20 year old women, maybe I have psychological issues, but it’s never really come up before. I remember, when I was in my 20’s, I worked at some bullshit job, I don’t even really remember where it was or what I was doing, I’ve had a lot of jobs, anyway, my co-worker was this bitch in her 30’s with 3 kids and about 30 lbs overweight. In passing I asked her if she has a big vagina, because given the facts, I am pretty sure it’s not to hard to smuggle drugs in her junk. Next thing you know I am fired for sexual harassment. I remember telling the main boss that I was stating the obvious and that if she can’t come to terms with REALITY, that she’s not gonna do too much for the company. He said, whether her vagina was big or not had no effect on her job, and me mentioning it was harassment, so I had no choice but to walk. I guess my story had nothing to do with Helena Christiensen in a bikini, but she has a vagina, so I guess that’s where it all starts……don’t ask questions , just read it, you fucking assholes.

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