I can’t tell if these pictures are pre or post op. I can’t afford eyeglasses, so to me she looks just as busted as before, and you’d think that before spending all that money on surgery, she’d take a little time out for her legs, you know, do a couple squats or some shit to get rid of her cellulite. I know all the bitches out there reading this tell themselves that all girls have cellulite, it’s got something to do with having babies, and needing the fat to feed the baby or whatever the fuck it is, but I know for a fact that that isn’t true. Lots of girls don’t have cellulite and those are the girls I like hanging out with. I know I sound like an idiot, considering I am fatter than Oprah was at her fattest, but I stand by the fact that I am a dude and an internet celebrity so that guarantees some decent pussy for me…at least that’s what I tell myself. Speaking of decent pussy, it looks like Joe Simpson’s getting a nice piece of Jessica, just like the old days, before the cameras and media got in the way……

Bonus: Jessica Loves her Daddy

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