I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

29

May

I am – Kate Beckinsale's Ass Crack…

katebeckinsalesAssTOP.jpg

I was told by someone on my instant messenger that I am scared of the world and that is why I don’t have a real job, that’s why I don’t take anything seriously, that’s why I constantly make fun of my wife, that’s why I don’t really leave my house or have friends. She told me that I should go on SSRI’s which I assume are anti-depressants. I have been prescribed Paxil and Prozak in the past, but never took them. I hate shit that fucks with the chemicals in my brain. I guess reality is that people don’t understand people who fear the normal suburban life. You know the 9 to 5 job, mortgage and car payments, 2 weeks off in the summer, 1 week for christmas, day after day same old bullshit over and over again until you die. No thanks.

I figured I would address the issue of Jesus Martinez’s mental health in this post, because it comes up a lot. What it really comes down to is that no matter what you say or do, someone is gonna be out there analyzing it. They may do it to better understand where you are coming from for their own comfort/satisfaction, or they may do it because they are annoying Psych students trying to apply the shit they learn in school to real life, but reality is that everyone’s got issues if you analyze everything they do. In my case people don’t understand someone who sits at home all day and types about celebrities and other random shit, who likes making people he doesn’t know laugh and who has more fun on the government funded computer than in a bar with a bunch of other alcoholics or with my fat wife and kids at the amusment park or at a useless job making shit money. It’s got nothing to do with fear of the world or failure or rejection, or hiding out in my safe haven of a world, it has to do with creating my own destiny, entertaining myself, laughing and not having some cocksucker millionaire of a boss bitch me out for showing up 2 minutes late when I helped the motherfucker make his millions.

Point of all this is to say that people make choices in life, and my choice is to write while I am on welfare and not to go on pills and become the status blue collar quo. I will not hang with the other people I know on welfare at the horse races. I will not sit on a park bench drinking 40s with them to fill my useless day. I am going to continue spreading my word to the 2 people who read this site because I find it fun to do, and I assume you two find it fun to read. I guess the other point of all this is to say that if some girl on IM is already showing this much interest in my personality, I can probably totally get her naked, which i will….and now The REAL Point of all this is that we all got our issues and Kate Beckinsale’s issue today is that she wears those stupid raver fat pants that all the bitches are starting to rock lately while showing off her ass crack while smoking a butt and lookin’ depressed. Thanks Kate. That’s Great.

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