I used to think Moustaches were the the sleaziest thing you could do to your face, thus making it the coolest thing to rock. I remember when I had a slammin’ handlebar moustache in every dream of myself. I’d wake up thinking to myself how cool it looked, but unfortunately for me, at the age of 35, I still can’t grow a motherfucker. But on the bright side every fucking hipster has one and now Ashton Kutcher’s got one, meaning every lame jock will have one this summer making the moustache the lamest fucking thing you can have on your face.. If this was 1998 I’d be giving dude praise for pushing the boundaries of cool..but it’s not. Sheep. Speaking of sheep I was at a bar the other day and 2 lame jocks were wearing 70’s tennis gear, you know jacked up socks, wooden racket, white lacoste, white shorts and fucking sweatbands. That novelty tennis trend died when Royal Tennenbaum’s came to video. I imagine those guys will be rockin’ the stache by the end of the summer. That said. I am just waking up and this post was bad. I’d apologize, but you probably aren’t even reading this.

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