I try to stay sober when I know I have a performance to make, because let’s face it, everytime I write on this piece of shit site, I feel like a dancing monkey.

I originally started writing this post the other night while I was wasted, right before passing out. I woke up to this on the screen:

Let’s make some Pam Anderson AIDS jokes. Bitch is not a whore, she’s patient zero. She’s not here to make you cum, but she is here to say that everyday is AIDS DAY for her cooter. You would probably still fuck her without a condom, because that’s just the type of reader I attract. I don’t know if my heart is still beating, but I do know I have one eye shut as I type this, so that I can see the screen. I am trying to pretend I am sober and all the words make sense right now.

I have decided that my drinking is bad for business, but sober or wasted, I still think Pam Anderson is the dirtiest piece of ass Canada has ever produced. Even dirtier than Lara Roxx (and she bangs black people), that’s the story I heard.

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