I was sitting at a coffee shop last night, drinking my free coffee, because I told the guy who works there that I am a big time producer and that I liked his look. He overlooks the fact that I stink of urine and mustard and gives me 5 dollar latte after 5 dollar latte. I figure that I can keep the lie going until he quits for a job at the trendy coffee shop downtown, at which point I will tell the new hire that I am a bigtime fashion photographer and that I like her look. Only I will get her to pose topless in the back alley covered in foamy milk while eating a biscotti or whatever those long gay bread cookies are called.

Anyway, I am sitting with this bitch and she gets to talking about how to seduce a girl. How it’s nice to be chased, but that they don’t want the chase to be too aggressive and I said that if I wasn’t married, I’d just pretend every bitch I was running after was Hillary Duff. This mind game would make me never call them or return their calls and when they run into you again, they will think something is wrong with them and that is why you never called back. Next thing you know, bitch is shoving your shoe in her cunt while your bangin her ass.

Point of the story is that Hillary Duff is DUFFgusting (that one’s for Trerez Pinilton) and women like to be ignored.

Bonus Hilary Duff Leaving Her Hotel (if you can really call that a bonus)

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted