I once offered a homeless girl 150 dollars to come back to my place and let me handcuff her to the toilet bowl and lick the seat while I took a pee. She didn’t take me up on the offer. I am pretty sure that homeless girl is now Keira Knightly, the flat chested slag in the Pirate Movies. I could be wrong, it’s happened before.

Here are some older pics of her, from when she was first launching her career. It’s all part of July 4th “This is your Life” series that I just made up.

New Pics of Keira Knightly

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