Naomi Campbell is cooler than you. She is almost cooler than me. I was watching TV today, because I had no computer, and saw that she destroyed her boyfriend’s yacht when she was pissed off that the chef messed up her Cheese/Ham/Tomato dish. That is fuckin’ rockstar behavior, and despite occassionally pretending that I am a rockstar to seduce women into buying me drinks at random bars, I have never destroyed a yacht. I have however destroyed my liver and a few couches and mattresses by accidently pissing/shitting/puking all over myself. It’s not quite as glamorous as what this bitch did, but it still counts for something. I will even let you tell your friends about it.

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