Tom Cruise is Gay, or was Gay in the 80s. I know people who know people who know people who were his chartered airline pilot and who brought him up to Montreal have Gay sexcapades with Gay men in the Gay part of the city. I also know people who know people who know people who were Gay in the Gay scene in the late ’80s and they also told me the same story about Tom Cruise in Montreal for Gayness. So based on these FACTS, it can only be assumed that the closest this dude’s done to fucking Nicole Kidman is in the movie Eyes Wide Shut and the closest he is to Suri’s baby-daddy is providing his Gay sperm for artificial insemination, like bitch was a whale at the aquarium they were trying to get knocked up, only instead of it being an aquarium, this whale’s at the scientology compound. Either way, there’s something decent about Nicole Kidman, something classy, even though she’s got red hair. Right? RIGHT! That’s my new catch phrase.

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