I got tagged. I remember when taggin’ a bitch meant you fucked her and came all over her. Kinda like what Michael Bolton does to this slut Nicolette Sheridan, his desperate housewife. Now, tagging is some gay blogger term that means I have to answer some questionnaire. I remember when I would have deleted this email, because I hated all things “bloggerâ€?. But lucky for you, all the rejection I have received from other sites and companies I tried to get to advertise and promote the site has made me come to terms with the fact that I am nothing but a useless fucking blogger and despite the fact that I hate bloggers more than I hate myself, I have come to terms with reality.

I have decided to go the “gay blogger” route and do “gay blogger” things, but I am just not really sure what I am supposed to do as a “gay bloggerâ€? because I have never really read blogs before, because I hate them with I passion.

I remember a time when I told people that I wasn’t a blogger, and that bloggers were faggots and fat girls who didn’t get attention when they were in high school cuz the cool kids were too busy laughing at them. I remember denying that this shit was a blog and I remember telling people that I just used blogger cuz it was a free way to make a website. I remember documenting my story thinking that I was writing articles and posting random shit that people wanted to see like I was running a magazine.

I am – what I always hated and this is me showing the world that I have accepted that I am a gay blogger. Enjoy.

10 years ago…

1. I was drunk and living in halfway houses.
2. I was fucking around with drugs and having a lot of fun doing it.
3. I was bouncing from shitty job to job
4. Fucking a couple hooker on the regular, when I say hooker, I mean the streetwalking kind, and they didn’t clean up as nicely as Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. In fact, I don’t think they cleaned up at all, ever…just the constant smell of stale cum on their breath and in their pants….but yeah, that’s who I was rollin’ with.
5. I was not Living in Canada
6. I was arrested a few times for nothing that criminal…I am not a rapist and I didn’t kill anyone or anything …You are an asshole for thinking that…

5 years ago…
1. I married my fat wife who I met off the internet while I was in jail
2. I found myself more attracted to her teenage daughters and realized that I was a sleazy stepfather that you read about, if you know how to read, which I also learnt while in jail.
3. I got a steady job in a factory packing boxes, but not the kind of boxes I like. Ie: Your Daughter’s Box.
4. I was in Canada cuz that’s where the wife was, and because I got acquitted on the charges meaning I could leave the USA.
5. I quit the drugs, hookers, but kept my drank on because being drunk was my only skill.
6. I started fucking around on message boards on the internet at night, cuz my wife was too busy eating and my stepdaughter’s would let me use their computers. That’s where this glorious internet communication style originated.

one year ago…
I was writing the hottest blog on the Internet (according to me) at night and working for a bunch of useless cunts that would shit on my box packing parade by day.

5 songs I know all the words to…
1. I don’t listen to music enough to learn lyrics. If I was musically inclined I’d be in a fucking band, I wouldn’t be writing the hottest blog on the internet (according to me).

5 snacks I love and wish I could eat
1. Booze. I don’t drink right now cuz of this a cancer scare. But I drank a bottle of wine last friday, but that doesn’t count. I want ethanol…I’m kinda addicted it’s genetic, so I will never accept responsibility for what I do while drunk.
2. All the other snacks are eaten by my whore wife before she gets home from the fucking grocery store, meaning she saves none for me, and we live on a pretty tight budget…so I’m not out treating myself. Ya heard?

5 places I’d run away to…
1. I can’t run, I have breathing problems and the stamina of a 95 year old with COPD. That’s what hard livin’ will do to you. It’s worth it.

5 things I’d never wear…
1.women’s underwear, it’s too emasculating and if I was to die while rockin’ a pair of panties, it would be embarrassed, even if I was dead. So yeah, I’d never wear women’s underwear, but you probably would.

5 favorite tv shows…
1. No TV Means No TV Shows. I watch the Internet.

5 greatest joys…
1. Being Drunk
2. When I wasn’t Impotent and I could bust inside bitches…
3. Drinking fresh breast milk out of a pregnant teen’s tit. I have a thing for teenage pregnancy.
4. I don’t fucking know, I have never been happy.

5 favorite toys….
1. I am poor, I have always been poor, as I kid I was giving a mud puddle and a stick for my birthday. I wish that was a joke, but it’s too sad to be a fucking joke. It’s my life. My only asset is this lap top….but it’s more of a tool than a toy…whatever. Fuck you I hate this shit. I’d say my stepdaughters were my toys, but I bet that would get me in trouble. I am convinced the FBI reads this shit. In the event they are, I am impotent, I can’t be a sexual predator, even if I tried. That’s the story I heard.

5 people I’m tagging…
1. I don’t know other bloggers, because I hate other bloggers, but if you want to be tagged by me cut and paste this shit into your own blog and sort it out, because I am done with playing homo blogger games. Meaning I am not tagging anyone. The fun ends here motherfuckers….

I’d like to thank my FAVORITE JEW CUNT for tagging me. That was sarcasm. It doesn’t really translate nicely on the net.

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