I have a thing for bitches who look like Jon Benet Ramsey, I wear mis-matched socks and dirty jogging pants. I love hanging with my stepdaughter and her 16 year old girl friends, I can’t get erections so I am never going to get charged as a sexual predator, I may get in trouble for trying to convince them to take showers together for me, but that has yet to be seen. I get sick more often than an African Aids baby and I don’t have African Aids according to my doctor. Speaking of Africa, I was dissed by a couple black dudes this weekend when I was at the gas station buying cigarettes and beer for my stepdaughter. We were in line behind these 2 “Alabama Blue Gums” who were dressed like they just stepped out of a low budget rap music video, meaning they were trying to look like ballers but drove a ’92 Honda Civic hatchback. Either way, I’m in line with my girl and dude starts checking her out, he reaches out for the condom rack and I picka up a box of Magnums to look like a star, totally predictable. I laughed to myself and when my girl asks me if her hair looks good I say “it’s way hardcore”…so as these dudes walk out of the store they look at my girl and say “yooooo I’m way hardcore” and start laughing and slappin each other on the back like they just won the NBA Championships or an intense game of dominos in the alley behind the projects they grew up in. Speaking of “Alabama Blue Gums”, here are some pics of Nicole Richie and her boyfriend, se was raised by a very weird man who adopts other people’s kids…with more money than all of us combined but no matter how white they try to be or how much money they have, they’ll always be of African decent.

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