I didn’t actually read what MUNG had to say, I never really do but I figure since he is one of the only people who gets excited about this site, I’d give him his glory as often as he submits shit. That goes for all of you. There is only one person allowed to be funny on this site and that person is usually never me. I get comments and emails bigging this fucker up, so I figured I’d add his emails to my posts. This is his story and if you are wondering why I posted Rod Stewart, Claudia Schiffer and Penny Lancaster pics from the Versace Party in London, it’s simple. When I was in highshool I used to jerk off to Rod Stewart love songs and when Mung was in High School he used to jerk off to Schiffer. Masturbation is our bond. And Mung’s post is on High School. Cuddles.
Dear Jesus,
I sat here today wondering why I quit my awesome job at A&W last Friday. I was making a solid $11.35 an hour to flip burgers, put fries in deep friers, and boss around obese 40-something women in brown and orange uniforms that make the Cleveland Browns uniforms look like prom dresses. I had it made. Instead, like you, I chose to pursue my dream of becoming a blog writer. Unfortunately I don’t have the resources or the money to start my own so I have to do it for someone else’s webpage and let me tell you, it doesn’t pay that well. Oh well…a dream is a dream! I have decided that in order to fulfill my dream I will write you a daily post. It may or may not get posted but I have seen some of the other shit on your site, so you might as well post it.
Today I found this picture of a high school citation on another website. I actually found it quite disturbing, but at the same time, fucking hilarious because it brought me back to the good old days. The reason I found it so disturbing, and at the same time amusing, was because I never received a good dick sucking in school. I had received blowjobs in cars, movie theatres, restaurant washrooms, and Burger King bathrooms (like in the song Humpty Dance) but never had I received a good old fashioned BJ in school. Is this something that happens to most acne prone teenagers/adolescents? If so, why was I not a part of these activities during my pimple faced high school years? Who is this little cum dumpster whore that commited this so called crime and where does she live? Is she over 18, and if not, can I get a hold of this girl through myspace messages?
After reading this story it brought me back to the first time I fucked a chicks mouth and I felt that I should reveal my story to you because I have no job and my time is of no apparent value anymore because I am a useless unemployed human. So here goes….
My first blowjob happened to me when I was at the ripe young age of 15. I was too old for power rangers, too young for bars, and had just discovered the amazing effect nicotine has on a person. I barely had pubes at the time. The girl…who I must say, was hot as fuck at the time (but from what I have heard is about 250 pounds of bacon grease with 4 kids and lives in a 200 sq. ft. 1 bedroom apartment)
Her name was S.R. (to protect her identity) but people called her “CUM BUCKET”.
She was known across the school as the high school whore and she would give head for gummy bears,fruit roll-ups, or whatever else you wanted to trade out of your lunch. Everyone in the school knew that she would give it to various 14 to 18 year old strangers out back in her dead fathers woodshed. I approached her one day in music class (I played the trombone which got all the chicks) and asked her if I could come over after school for a good solid mouth fucking. She of course agreed and I was magically whisked away to blowjob land on her school bus to the other side of London.
As we got off the bus (which was in front of her house) I was about as excited as a retarded kid at Canada’s Wonderland. She grabbed me by my pathetic excuse for a childs penis and lead me back to the “woodshed”. I call it a woodshed but let me tell you something, this was no woodshed. This was like one of those places you go to stick your dick in a glory hole. The floor had built in kneepads, the wall had a shelf with different flavours of lube, and the ceiling had a mirror on it. It was meant for one thing, and one thing only…and that was S.R.’s private dick sucking palace where she could go after school to do what she loved to do, and that was hoover some adolescent cock. God bless her.
She didn’t say a word and unbuttoned my fly (because Levi’s button flies were cool then) and proceeded to gorge herself on my cock. It took me less than 15 seconds from her mouth and hand rhythmically sliding up and down my tallywacker. I had erupted in her mouth and she just looked up at me and smiled like she had done this numerous times before. The load was still in her mouth. I was wondering if she was gonna spit or swallow because I heard the stuff tastes like salty bleach…that’s just what I heard. (just kidding, I have tasted my own and it tastes great). Anyways, she is swishing my kids around in her mouth like a commercial for listerine and she reaches out and grabs a bucket and spits my baby batter into it. I look down at her and smile and all of a sudden my smile turns to a look of complete and utter astonishment. Inside of the bucket was probably 8 gallons of semen from other men. She was collecting semen like it was a trophy. Now I know why everyone in school called her “cum bucket”.
To this day I wonder what happened to good old “cum bucket”. I wonder if it’s true that she has 4 kids and lives in poverty. If she reads this, which she probably won’t because nobody reads this fucking website, I want her to call me. I want another blowjob. I don’t give a fuck if you have children, and I am not looking to support you or your children in any way. I just want you to place my cock in your mouth and bring me back to that day I was 15 years old getting my first blowjob in your dead fathers woodshed.
Attached is the picture of the citation. This boy got suspended for receiving a blow job. This girl will grow up to live in a one bedroom apartment with 4 kids and be forever known as “cum bucket”. That’s my story, that’s how I roll.
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