I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

13

Sep

I am – Noel Gallagher and Sara Macdonald Drunk of the Day

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I don’t know if you remember Brad the Jew Lawyer, but he used to help me with this site when I started it. I assume you don’t remember him because you don’t read what I write. I don’t blame you, I don’t read anything on the Internet. Either way, Brad is still my lawyer and we got together last night, because it’s been a while since we last met and because he offered to take me out for dinner. I never turn down an free meal and the chance to get the fuck out of my house.

We got drunk and dinner, so I suggested we go to the strippers, because let’s face it, strippers are my favorite type of humanitarian. People don’t realize that these sluts save marriages by giving men the chance to grab new titty and prevent suicides of losers like you who have never had female attention.

The highlight of the night was when Brad ran into his wife’s 90 year old father and spent the better part of the night trying to not be seen. It’s funny that no matter how old you are, you are always pussy when you see your wife’s dad at a nudie bar. I don’t remember much else other than being drunk, watching some dude give a stripper an erotic massage, seeing 2 dudes who seemed more into each other than into the strippers, seeing a couple who were trying to spice up their sex life, seeing a 400 pound greek dude get down to Bob Sinclair’s Children of the Sky song like he was in Mikanos and one bull dyke and her gas huffing native friends talking about being in the Marines while flexing her arms and staggering. I remember trying to chat up one of the whores outside the club when Brad bummed a cigarette off her, but she wasn’t having it. Her lame boyfriend ripped through the parking lot in his Benz to pick her up. When she got in, he squealed off, proving that he’s the real man and that whores go for guys with money and not guys who are cool.

The night ended when Brad drunk drove us around some area near my stepdaughter’s school. This post isn’t that funny, but I am still dealing with the school shooting. That’s my excuse and I am sticking to it.

Speaking of drunk, here are some pics of the cunt singer of Oasis, Noel Gallagher and his girlfriend Sara Macdonald acting a drunken fool at the NME.com 10 year anniversary party. I always hated Oasis just like I have always hated you. Cuddles.

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