I was watching Oprah. Today’s topic is about people who tried to kill themselves but failed. I like how today’s show has an intense theme song, it let’s me know that Oprah is in a serious mood, no fucking around. I was hoping to watch Gayle and Oprah’s lesbian tour, but I can deal with watching depression. I guess this is where the live blogging stops because I can’t think of anything funny to say about this shit. One dude shot his face off with a shotgun and lived, another girl got run over by a 30 car freight train, both totally fucked themselves up and are happy god let them live. It’s positive to see they found meaning, but shit dude, it would have been a lot easier on them if they found meaning in a less destructive way. I have been depressed in the past and the funniest thing that has happened while depressed was a lot of drinking, raw sex with hookers and girls I thought were hookers, I’d get beat up by security guards, bar patrons and bouncers, I lived in parks and halfway houses, so the best times of my life happened while depressed, that’s why I spell depression: F-U-N. My behavior won’t get me a job in upper management with a nice suburban home, wife and a mid-size sedan to drive to the golf course and pick up meat for the bbq, so people can think I am a headcase while waking up at 6 am for their jog and I am just getting to bed. I don’t deny that my ways may leave me dead in the gutter, but at least the walk to that gutter was always F-U-N.

Speaking of fun, Siegfried Fischbacher et Royh Horn got some Vegas Walk of Fame Shit. That Tiger really fucked him up.

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