There was a retarded kid in the high school I went to. He wasn’t 100 percent retarded, because he got by, but he was definitely semi-retarded. The dude had a tongue the size of a baseball and every time he tried to talk the fucking thing would be all hanging out and dripping and motherfucker sounded like he had a pair of socks shoved down his semi-retarded throat. I got to talking to an old high school friend of mine the other day and she told me she ran into him. I asked if she lived out her high school fantasy of sitting on his face and testing out that fucking tongue, because it was like the tongue of tongues and there’s no way bitch never thought about his semi-retarded face between her things, coming up for air and saying how much fun he likes to have in his wet, mess, big tongued muffled voice.

To me it’d be like running into one of the girls who had big tits and not trying to touch them. My old friend wasn’t impressed and asked me why I had to always be a sexual deviant like that…reality is… I really don’t know why the first thing I think of when I see a retarded kid with a fat tongue and a speech impediment is how good he could rock a girl. But I am convinced that if I am thinking it, so are they. I know they all secretly dream about him talking his retarded sloppy way on their boxes. I guess they just don’t like me calling them out on their weird fucking fantasies. Perverts.

Speaking of retarded, here are some pics of Janet Jackson’s retarded tits. These pics are old, but I guess that’s how I do things, cuz I hate celebrity, except my own. I love my own celebrity.

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