We always knew that Brittany Murphy was a whore, but not one of those whores with that Mascot Fetish I once read about. That’s pretty much one of the weirdest fetishes around. I know that she’s at a movie premiere, but the thought of her only being able to get off to men dressed up like stuffed animals seems so much more interesting that her doing an obnoxious pose for the camera. Speaking of movies, I went to see Bobby, that shit that almost made that Spic Emilo suicidal, so my expectations were unrealistic. It was American smut at it’s best and made Bobby look like he was Jesus (not my kind of Jesus), but I had a good time. My doctor brought me to the movie and it was a 2 for $7 night, so don’t be getting any ideas that I’m living large here, unless by large you mean unable to fit in my pants or on the seats on the bus designed for one….This is where I’d bring it back to Brittany Murphy, but all I can think of is cropping her stretch mark titties because I’m not that creative. If I was smart I’d google news the bitch and quote the first story that comes up, like a real celeb blogger…maybe that’s what I’ll do….here I go….

Starring alongside ROBIN WILLIAMS in HAPPY FEET stirred up old emotions for BRITTANY MURPHY – he was her first teenage crush. The 8 MILE star confesses she lusted after the funnyman when she was 14 and he was 40. Murphy, 29, says, “I had a crush on Robin Williams when I was younger. I was fourteen and I was asked to nominate my Valentine crush when I was at school. “And it was between JOHNNY CARSON and Robin Williams – so I went for Williams because Carson was way too old for me. “Robin doesn’t actually know. I don’t know if I will tell him. I think he is so funny. And that’s a huge attraction for a girl.”

Oh Brittany…You Whore…..

Admit that me pretending to be a relevant celebrity news source was funny. CUDDLES.

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