I’ve been stalking Lohan for awhile now. I know that I am pretty inconsistent with my stalking, maybe even a little lazy, and like all things done half-assed, I’ve had little success in my restraining order and Access Hollywood coverage. I am not going to get creepier or actually hide in the trunk of her car, because that’s a little excessive and I don’t really want to get arrested, but I will keep this up until I get some kind of response. That’s the story I heard.

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