I spend my life walking around trying to observe as much as I can to bring back to this site and write about, I spent all of last week turned off and life was a lot more fun, because instead of looking for funny and thinking about how I need to remember the funny for the site that never comes across as being as funny in writing, I was living…That said, I have no fucking idea what to write about. I know that I’ve had a lot of good things to tell you fuckers but I just keep forgetting and I don’t think it’s got anything to do with being drunk.

Jessica Alba is probably the hottest celebrity out there, I think she may be a little overrated but her body is solid, her face is nice and she’s banging some dude who isn’t you. So stop fixating your energy on these celebrity sluts, and find a local slut in your hometown who will actually let you bang them…because I am sure every town has it’s own Jessica Alba, not that she’d date you, but at least you can climb up the tree outside her bedroom and watch her shower. Here are the most recent Alba bikini pics in Miami, because celebrities are lazy and like beaches and so do I.

See the HQ pics HERE

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